


Rising to 'bot

by Steena



Series: Falling to 'con verse [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Blackmail, Deception, Dubious Consent, Energon abuse, F/M, Fluff, Forced downloading of emotional subroutines, HEA, Holoform/human sex, Imprisonment, Manipulation, Messed up lovelife, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mindfuck, Non-Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Porn With Plot, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Sparkbonding, Spying, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Transformers Plug and Play Sexual Interfacing, Xenophilia, sort of infidelity, sparkplay, sparksex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:29:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 195
Words: 25,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steena/pseuds/Steena
Summary: The HEA ending of my work Falling to 'con. This will make no sense without reading that first, so if you haven't, I recommend reading that up until chapter 62.





	1. Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> While this is a HEA version, it still contains flashbacks and angst and other uncomfortable topics in line with the events of Falling to 'con. There is an on-screen, non graphic rape in there somewhere and mechs get coding snuck into their systems without consent. It will all end well though.

Prime asked you to become a double agent for the Autobots, to try to figure out what the 'Cons were up to. Still swooning just a little over Crosshairs, you agreed.

Prime was very concerned about your safety but you felt you could do it. Lying was something you were very good at, after all you had been pretending for _years_ in your marriage.

They decided to not make you quit energon completely at this stage. You'd have to take it among the 'Cons anyway, and Prime was probably afraid that your allegiance would be with the faction providing it. At this point, he was probably right.

 


	2. Going home

Crosshairs drove you back to your apartment, a bottle of energon pills in your pocket and a phone with everybots comm line in your pocket. They had offered you to stay in the base but it would be suspicious if the 'Cons came looking for you and couldn't find you and so you declined.

He blacked out his windows, leaving you unable to see the location of the base, but you kind of approved. Smart move, to not trust you at this point. Maybe the 'Bots weren't as naive as you feared?

"I want to see you again. You know, just us. Maybe get to know you." Crosshairs said. "Maybe 'face?" He added, a grin in his voice.

You found yourself smiling, not offended at all by his straightforward suggestion. Yes, you'd like that too.

 

 


	3. Pivot point

The next time with Barricade was very different. Sure, the energon made it easier to get in the mood and he _still_ knew your buttons, so it still made you enjoy it to completion. But you found yourself thinking about the time with Crosshairs in the med bay.

The way he was considerate and asked you what you _really wanted_. The feeling you didn't have to pretend you wanted anything he could come up with, but that he actually tried to do things _you_ liked instead of overriding your body.

Barricade still made you overload several times. But you felt detached, like you played a role. And afterwards, you felt just a little filthy. Nothing big, not irrevocably tainted. But like you had just been with a _customer_ and not one of your lovers.

 

 


	4. Debrief

* * *

You were going back to the Autobot base, for a debrief. You hadn't really found out anything important yet, but it was a needed distraction. Disappointment flared when Bumblebee picked you up, you had hoped for Crosshairs, but you squashed your disappointment.

The first thing that happened was Ratchet administering energon pills for you. It squashed the emerging abstinence, but didn't make you high. It felt good to be clear headed for once.

You didn't fool yourself that the depression was gone, even the low dose of energon had some effect. But later that evening, debriefing done, you curled up against Crosshairs on an oversized couch for movie night and somewhere deep inside, you felt something beginning to change.

 

 


	5. Groundwork

You were halfway under Brawl's plating, carefully tweaking cables and wires. For being a big tank, he was very sensitive. But you knew how to play him like an instrument.

He never wanted to play sticky games, just tactile and plug and play, and you were thankful for it. Being drenched in transfluid was losing it's appeal. He overloaded suddenly, and your connection pulled you with him over the edge.

"So, Brawlie? Will you still want me when you take over the world?" You played at innocence, because he was a sucker for it.

"Yeah! We all will." He panted an exvent.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Onslaught roll his optics even as he got up from his chair to join you on the berth.

_Game on._

 

 


	6. Groundwork 2

Blackout was a good source. The huge helicopter was indeed very trusted with Megatron's plans. And they _all_ trusted you by now.

You rolled over on your back, humming in appreciation at the cube he offered you.

"Can we keep doing this even after you guys take over the world?" You asked, dipping your fingers in the energon.

He watched you with hungry optics when you slipped your fingers through your slick folds, arching your back at the tingling the energon left.

"Ye.." he warbled, vocalizer spitting static. You heard him reset it and smirked knowingly. "Yeah, of course. Let's start now." He dropped to the berth next to you.

_Game on._

 

 


	7. Game on

After Blackout, it was Megatron again. You took a wild shot and risked everything because you knew you had everything to win.

Even as you started touching him, teasing tense cables and sensors with deft fingers, you spoke up.

"The Autobots want me to spy on you. Can you use me as an infiltrator and to provide faulty information?" Your question turned into a moan as you plugged his cables into your armor, his arousal flooding your nervous system. It was still exquisite and the thrill of deceiving him at _that_ moment made you shiver in pleasure.

"Yes, most definitely, but let's not talk about work now." He hissed, bucking underneath you.

_Game on._

 

 


	8. Watching the sky

You stretched out on Crosshairs hood, leaning your back against his windscreen, watching the stars. It was a very long time since you enjoyed something so... normal.

"I'll stay on base for the weekend. Debrief and tactics meeting tomorrow." You said, heart pounding. "Maybe we can hang out more?"

"Yeah! We can go racing with Sideswipe. And it's game night tomorrow. You any good at ice climber?" He sounded exhilarated.

You snorted a laugh, an odd feeling. _When was the last time you actually laughed?_

"I can't believe you use those old games! But I fucking _rock_ at it! You'll all be slagged!"

 

 


	9. Game night

You _sucked_!

At ice climber. At least compared to the 'Bots. Bumblebee eradicated all competition. Prime managed to break an Autobot sized controller. Sideswipe fell out of a chair. Crosshairs entire frame jerked each time his character made a jump.

It all seemed so...normal. You realized how much you'd missed this. They were all family, _your_ long lost family. It was almost like before. Except Iro... _He_ wasn't there to grumble amusedly in the background about immature younglings.

It hurt, but not nearly as much as before. Maybe there was hope for you, to finally mend your heart, even though it still hurt.

You walked next to Crosshairs, back to the hangar with the living quarters and you felt reluctant to go to your room, to spend all the night all by yourself.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" You asked.

"Any time." He leered, just a little. Just enough to be charming.

 

 


	10. Snuggling

He stretched out on the floor in the corner of the hangar and you climbed on top of him sitting down on his chest plates.

"You, ehm, want to plug in?" You asked unusually hesitant, motioning to your neck port.

You weren't really looking to get laid, but you enjoyed the intimacy of the connection. It was the closest to hugging a mech you could get and you felt like snuggling.

Wordlessly, he offered you a cable. You plugged in and sent him contentment and attraction. You received lust he was trying to reign in for your sake, but also a softer curiousness. You let your fingers wander underneath his plating, exploring his wiring languorously.


	11. Beating heart

The weekend was over too soon. You wanted to stay with Crosshairs, but it was important to go back and you steeled yourself. All progress made would be strained and tested when you were back with the 'Cons.

Bonecrusher picked you up. He was slightly terrifying. You had seen his bad temper, even though you hadn't really been around him. He hadn't been one of your...lovers? Not yet, at least. You had a hard time defining what you had with the 'Cons.

Especially now. When the tattered remains of your heart started to recognize... something good. Beating just a little faster when you thought of Crosshairs. You couldn't place the feeling yet, it was confusing and jumbled. But you found yourself able to almost think Iron... _His_ name without falling apart.


	12. Disgust

You had never interfaced with an entire gestalt before. They didn't combine, thankfully, but just being connected to all the pieces of Devastator was slightly overwhelming. It swept you away, making everything seem distant and all you could feel was pleasure, theirs and yours intermingled until inseparable.

The crash after was hard. You kept it together until you were alone, but you were disgusted. The filth seemed to _permeate_ you, and not just because you were covered in transfluid.

The thought that you had enjoyed it was worse. It didn't matter that it was a physical response. It just wouldn't go away, no matter how much you scrubbed yourself.

It made you all the more determined to finish this. You would be free.


	13. Undercover

Your work was paying off. Feeding the Decepticon high command the lies concocted by the Autobots was easy, slipping like honey laced with poison from your deceitful tongue. They trusted you, the fools, and you were elated.

Toeing the line pretending to still be their wanton little whore, you relished every lie you could tell them. It was a heady feeling, to know they really believed that you were helping them while you were double crossing them. You pushed aside the flickers of guilt that sometimes struck, after all, they had been there with you for quite awhile, and focused on reclaiming control of your life.

It was ironic, really, now that you were working for the Autobots you were allowed more freedom in the Decepticon base than ever before. You even had your own living space. The 'Cons liked to keep their pet "spy" close.


	14. Unexpected obstructions

Barricade was...well, aptly, an obstruction. Sometimes it felt like fucking a customer. But he had literally been the one to save your life, in a twisted and backwards kind of way.

He was also sort of spark bonded to you, being the only mech except Ironh... _Him_ to have touched you with his spark. It made you wonder if it had really been a snapped bond setting you off before. Maybe you had been right?

Barricade was a bastard, you knew that. But sometimes, when you had interfaced until completion, and he put you on his chest plates and covered you with a careful hand, your still live connection uploading an unusual sense of contentment, you got conflicted.

It was love-hate and hate-love but it was still something. Now that you spent more time on the base, your spark connection tugged more at you and you realized that this might become a complication later on.


	15. Complication

Barricade knew that you were scheduled to ship out to the Autobot base, supposedly to tell the 'Bots lies and gather intel. He lifted you without any warning, carrying you to his quarters and you tried to slow your heart down as not to give away your anxiety at his silence.

_Did he know?_

He dropped you on his berth, looking you over in silence at first and the undivided attention of four optics had you frozen like a deer caught in Motormaster's headlights. You forced yourself to snap out of it, to act normally.

"So, _fearsome_..." You tried to stroke his ego and be seductive in the same move, purring your words. "How do you want me _today_?"

"Quit the act."

Your heart stuttered.

"It's unnecessary. I want you anyway. I want you to touch my spark again. Now that you are going away."

You were flabbergasted. _Complication indeed_.


	16. Sparkplay

How could you say no and _not_ seem conspicuous? You had to play along.

You plugged his offered cable in and immersed yourself in Barricade's arousal until you couldn't see straight, that way you wouldn't accidentally reveal something important.

His chest plates whirred open and clawed servos lifted you, suspending you over his pulsing spark. It was glorious, in a way you couldn't remember between the times you did it, it was just too unbelievable. Yet something in the flood of feelings was _missing._

You could feel him being possessive of you, attraction and a feeling that a lot of his processes circled around keeping you.  _And still, something was missing, something you couldn't pinpoint._ He wanted you. Arousal. _Victory?_


	17. Drop off

He dropped you off and you could _feel_ the scowl a car could never display. Your newly strengthened bond, albeit dubiously consensual, still a bond, had you stalling in his passenger seat, hesitant to leave his presence.

"Keep your phone on you." He said seriously.

"If they let me. I'll text you tonight if I can."

It was a lie. Of course the 'Bots wouldn't take your phone. _Perhaps they should, the trusting fools._ But you weren't quite sure if you wanted to speak with Barricade right now, everything was too jumbled.

"Maybe you could send a vid of you showering." He purred.

"Fragging perv." You snorted. At least you could appreciate the glints of personality you got when the two of you were alone.

You slipped out, closing the door carefully, and walked over to the corner.

 


	18. Making up

"'llo." Sideswipe said as you slipped into his passenger seat.

"Hey Sides'." Your voice trembled just a little.

It was one thing to ride with Crosshairs, you didn't have a history with him. You flashed back to that traitorous time you coaxed Sideswipe into berth to numb your pain. You hadn't been alone with him since then.

"I'm so, so sorry!" You blurted breaking the tense silence. "I used you to feel better and I have hated myself for it ever since."

"And I'm sorry for being stupid and take the opportunity, not realizing what it did to you. And for not being there when you needed me." His voice was low and subdued.

"Start over? Friends again, leaving the past in the past?" You asked hesitantly.

"Definite yes on both accounts!" He answered cheerily, the Sideswipe you knew shining through.


	19. Secrets and doubt

You spilled the beans to Autobot command in an immediate debrief as soon as you set foot on their base. They were impressed with the amount of intel you managed to gather and you withheld nothing.

_Except your bondmate._ That was a can of worms you couldn't even analyze yourself right now. But you told yourself that it was inconsequential, you had touched his spark before and it hadn't made any difference when you... when you _interfaced_ with the other 'Cons. So you were bonded. It had been an accident, sex gone bad, you told yourself. It wasn't like you had decided to have an exclusive relationship. It wasn't like you were in love.

And so you padded off to find Crosshairs, because he was fun to be around and you liked him. You thought back to last time, when the two of you had spent the night connected without chasing an overload, just for comfort. It was as close to snuggling you could come with a mech and it had been nice. It reminded you of your nights with Ironh... _Him_. It didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to.


	20. Take me to the range

You were starting to see a pattern. You had a _type_. Loud, brash, cocky, slightly lewd and not the most peaceful of mechs. Crosshairs wasn't exactly the model Autobot.

Crosshairs had dragged you out to the shooting range. Apparently it was his idea of having "fun". Turned out to be your idea of fun too.

Your roar turned into a disturbingly gleeful laugh as you emptied yet another mag of the fully automatic into an unsuspecting stack of hay bales. You were having a blast, and, _oh_ , wasn't _that_ a pun when Crosshairs handed you a prototype human-sized blaster he had smuggled out from the base in his subspace.

You squealed in unstifled delight, he laughed and Sideswipe, who'd tagged along, smirked at your enthusiasm. Prime was going to have turbokittens. It would be so _totally_ worth it.


	21. Making plans

Optimus wasn't nearly as angry as you had expected him to be. Maybe it was the fact that you were honestly _smiling_ that stopped him from tearing the three of you new ones. Or maybe Crosshairs argument that an "undercover agent needed to know how to use a gun, _for frags sake!_ " Was what swayed him.

You still slipped away with your shoulders hunched, feeling bad anyway, because you had forgotten how well Optimus played the part of Disappointed Daddy.

"Hey!"

You startled when Crosshairs whisper-shouted at you, crouched behind a corner.

"Wanna hook up tonight?" He asked.

"Perv!" You laughed.

"No, not like _that!_ Although that _would_ be fun too..." He leered, but you could see that he was joking. "I meant we could _hang out_. And, I don't know, watch a movie or something." He clarified. 

"Sounds cool."

 


	22. Itches

You woke up with a light hangover, wondering just _how_ much wine you actually drank last night, and turned over just to get tangled in a cable. _Right,_ you were on top of Crosshairs. He was still in recharge. You smirked. He'd been quite plastered on the high grade.

You disconnected, because you had been snuggling-by-data-cable most of the night, and padded off to find coffee, aspirin and your energon pills. They kept the abstinence away but was still weak enough to leave you clear-headed, and it was a nice change from your normal daze.

Pills swallowed with a healthy serving of water, waiting for the coffee to be done, you leaned against the counter in the small kitchen in the human quarters in the Autobot hangar, rubbing your chest. Something itched in there, almost a wriggling feeling. Like something tried to press through a small hole in the tissue, trying to connect. _Maybe you should get Ratchet to look at it?_

 


	23. Bonded

As you focused on the itching, it sort of connected, like it broke through the wall. A flood of feelings swept through you, feelings clearly not yours. It wasn't worry, but more of a question of your functioning, one you couldn't quite discern. It grew stronger when you prodded it.

You gasped, clapping a hand over your mouth when it connected fully, possessive anger and a sense of _betrayal_ slammed into you.

This wasn't something new, it had just been so long since you experienced it, so much intoxication since then, you had forgotten what it felt like. _A live bond_.

You never called Barricade last night, you even forgot about it entirely, and didn't _that_ take you on an unexpected guilt trip?

Coffee forgotten, you sprinted to your room, trying to remember where the fuck your phone was.

 


	24. Qualms

Staring at the offending piece of technology, you worried your lip with your teeth. Heart pounding a million miles a minute, you tried to remember how to _close_ the bond, or at least narrow it down enough to let you _think_ without flooding him with your panic and your traitorous feelings.

What were you going to say? How much had he felt? Oh, God what should you _do?_

Then you remembered your last lie, when he dropped you off. He didn't know you had access to your phone. You could pretend you had been out of reach for that reason.

You made a face. Bonded without true consent or not, it still felt fucked up to try to lie to your bondmate. When what you had really done was sort of making out with a bot you had to admit you had a crush on. _Could it be considered cheating?_ It kind of felt like it.

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Guilty pleasure

**I'm** **OK. Sorry, couldn't get away last night to make contact.** You felt like a coward for texting him.

**So** **, what** _ **did**_ **you do?** He chose to text back and you were grateful.

**Had** **some alcohol, tried to coax some intel out of an overcharged 'Bot and passed out. Didn't have my phone.** It was mostly the truth.

**So** **_that_ was what you enjoyed so much?** **And the panic this morning?**

Damned perceptive bastard. You felt his suspicion through the bond you'd left cracked just a sliver and tamped down on it, squashing the small flicker of what you told yourself was unreasonable guilt you felt for snuggling with Crosshairs.

**Thought** **they saw me when I was going to text you.** You left it at that, because you refused to let him make you feel guilty.

**A'ight** **, whatever.**

You still sent him a vid when you fingered yourself in the shower later, and you opened your bond when you climaxed, flooding him with your pleasure. It was not out of guilt. Nope. Not at all.

 

 

 

 

 


	26. Sold out

Of course it was Barricade picking you up. You sat there, awkward, not knowing what to say. Guilt ate at you. Weird, considering that you had 'faced the entire 'Con crew before without him being jealous and you freaking out like this.

You dragged your fingers across his dashboard suggestively.

"I don't need to be in debrief for two hours..." You purred.

"I know. The Stunticons are waiting for you. All of them. I took the liberty to make an appointment for you."

Your bond flickered with his spite and you flinched. You felt his satisfaction that he managed to get to you through the bond.

_"What?!"_ Was he _serious_?!

"Well, you _are_ the base whore and they wanted to frag you, so who would _I_ be to keep you from doing your _thing?_ _"_

_Ouch_   _._

"It's kind of my _job_ , you know. Can't exactly accuse me of that. You _knew_ what I was when _you_ decided to bond with me." You tried to cover your hurt with lashing out.

 


	27. Aim to wound

"I _know_ that! But I never imagined being a _spy_ required you to  _fuck_ the Autobots!" He snarled.

"I. Did. Not. Fuck an Autobot." You ground out, because you were _not_ going to be blamed for something you _didn't_ do. The guilt woke a need to hurt him back.

"Not this time, at least. But, _Oh_ , have I _fucked_ Autobots before. Imagine it; me, wrapped around his spike, covered in his transfluid, his grippers _all over_ me, inside me. And the  _connections_! Autobots give me things you 'Cons can't even  _defrag_ about!" You moaned, arching your back and sliding your hands over your chest and down for effect. Petty, you knew it, but you were trading low blows here.

_Technically_ , Crosshairs was the only 'Bot you had connected to, your ports installed after Ironhi... _He_ passed away and after your one-time thing with Sideswipe. But who _cares_? You were _furious_ and out for energon.

The flicker of insecurity and uncertainty in the bond was entirely unexpected and hit you all the harder for it.

 

 

 

 

 


	28. Baiting

"Well, you're going to the Stunticons either way. And you better keep your fragging _bond_ open." He was seething but the insecurity was still there as an undertone, driving his anger.

"Fine." You huffed, crossing your arms demonstratively but not nearly as angry as you wanted to be.

_Was this some sort of test? What was making him so insecure? What had he picked up on when you were away? Or maybe it was just petty vengeance?_ _It_ would _be the Decepticon thing to do._

"Actually, I think I'm going to watch. You wouldn't have a problem with that, would you?" His tone was cold as space.

_Once a perv, always a perv._

"Of course not, in fact it's a turn on. I want you to see them fragging me, one by one, all at once..." You sneered, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I figured as much, you fragging _slut_."

_Ouch again._


	29. Stunticons

You stripped as soon as you were inside the doors of the base, walking determinedly to the Stunticons hab suite, because _damned it_ if you weren't going to make a show of your sweet ass going to _somebot else's_ berth.

Barricade trailed after you and you refused to acknowledge him. Wildrider answered the door and let the both of you in. You rubbed up on him, just to spite the Saleen.

You quickly realized that it would be awfully revealing to keep the bond open. Ever since the 'Bots and you made your deal and you met Crosshairs, it wasn't very appealing to frag the 'Cons anymore. If Barricade noticed that you weren't honest about wanting them, that you were acting, your cover may be blown.

To squash your reluctance, you quickly started connecting with all of them and concentrated on the lust of the gestalt and tried to submerge yourself in it, let it drown out everything, and let it rush it through the bond to Barricade.

_Fragging complication._

 


	30. Aftermath

It was easy to lose yourself in the gestalt, their tight links unlike anything else, making it almost impossible to know where one of you ended and the next started. It was all lust and want, eradicating everything else for that moment.

Afterwards, when the connections ebbed with the utter completion, it was the same type of crash as you'd experienced with Devastator. You felt filthy, disgusting and cheap for enjoying it so much while it lasted.

For long moments you fought the overwhelming urge to run back to Crosshairs, laying quietly with a non-sexual connection filled with soothing reassurance and care and other feelings you weren't ready to analyze. The 'Bots would welcome you with open arms, even if it meant losing the advantage of having an insider.

That wasn't an option, though, neither was getting the high grade you were craving. That would be running from your problems. You had done that for far too long.

Right now, you had an unreadable Saleen to do... _something_ with.

 


	31. Clean up

You walked quietly to his quarters with a looming sense of doom. Body utterly spent, you couldn't even find it in yourself to get agitated.

You started towards his berth, convinced that he would want to frag you six ways to Sunday after _that_ show

"Clean up first. If you want."

You looked at him, surprised. _He gave you an option?_ Even if it was added as an afterthought. But you wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, so you padded off to the communal washracks, because your room was just too far away, with the Mustang in tow.

You thought he'd put you in the cink, as he usually did when you didn't use the shower in your own room, but he held you in his open servos and stepped under the spray from the shower, the pelting water soaking you both.

The bond revealed nothing, it left more questions than answers.


	32. Deterioration

Of course he wanted to frag you. The shower started out as something he offered you because he thought you wanted it. As if he was trying to act considerate without really understanding the concept. And he was right, that shower was sorely needed. You pinned it down to logic, because that's something he was good at.

Then it deteriorated to foreplay in minutes, and you weren't really that surprised because you were naked and water and soap slicked your skin and he was a horny bastard.

Your bond pulled you with him, filled with raw need to claim you and it made you aroused to match him and you finished your shower quickly. He ran back to his suite, carrying you.

You were fucking on the floor even before the door slammed shut.

 


	33. Release

It was wild and raw with both your anger and his possessiveness, your hurt from his treatment of you and your guilt. His jealousy pushed into you through your ragged bond and you answered with defensive fury.

You were both rough; you tugged at his circuits and wires and he shoved a gripper into you, thrusting it harshly, both growling expletives and insults at each other, but none of you caused the other physical pain. The overload wracked you both, releasing all the built up tension, leaving you spent and wrung out, panting for air.

You laid in the floor, next to each other, your connected data cables the only point of physical contact but the bond live and open. It irked you that you felt soothed, now that the bond seemed settled and calm, all your anger released. Focusing on the bond, you tested him. He felt thoughtful, processing something.

"I don't get it. It's not the same." He said out of the blue.

 


	34. Perplexed

"What?" You were perplexed.

"Well, it isn't. I felt things through our bond when you were away, things I didn't get. Still don't get."

You went stiff and cold with guilt but waited him out, unsure of what he was talking about.

"I thought you were interfacing, but it isn't the same. What I felt when you... when you _fucked_ the Stunticons was completely different."

"Maybe because I _fucked_ them." _Courtesy of_ Barricade  _handing you out. Thank you very much,_ 'darling'. "I didn't fuck anybot this weekend, believe it or not." Your intended your voice to be dripping with sarcasm, but it came out too tame.

"And this was something else too."

"Yeah, maybe because this wasn't you pimping me out." There wasn't any heat to your comment. _Damn him for making you unable to stay mad at him._

He made a noncommittal noise but through the bond you could still feel his hesitancy, his insecurity and that he was still putting a lot of processor power on it.


	35. Give me a break!

It was both soft and harsh and utterly confusing. You found yourself searching your bond several times a day, wishing you could find some of those warm and fuzzy, unnamed feelings you and Crosshairs had for each other. You almost prayed for just a smidge of care.

What you found was more like protection of a prized possession. Smug victoriousness, and what was up with _that_?!

You weren't much less confusing, yourself. The need to dislike the Saleen for bonding with you warred with the familiar comfort the bond brought to you. You needed to hate him for getting in the way of you and Crosshairs, yet you found you couldn't for some unfathomable reason.

In frustration you slammed your bond shut, equally agitated by how unreadable he was as your inadequacy of interpreting your own feelings.

_You just needed to catch a fucking break!_


	36. Sexting

You were texting Crosshairs, sprawled on your bed in your own quarters in the 'Con base, door pointedly locked. Barricade had been following you around for the last week and your patience was wearing thin. Whatever his insecurities was about, he better fucking _figure it out_ before you lost your mind. You had more than enough of your own confusion. And right now, you needed a distraction.

Like sexting. With the gorgeous paratrooper. Who wasn't stalking you. And had asked you to go for a drive the next time you were around. It sounded a lot like a mechversion of a date. Your heart thumped and your stomach fluttered with anticipation, because nobody had taken you for a date since... Since Phil. And hadn't _that_ sucked?!

Your train of thought was derailed by the lewdest vid _anyone_ had _ever_ sent you and you snorted a shocked laugh. Now, how to outdo that...


	37. Coward

You wouldn't admit it out loud, not even under blasterpoint, but you were being a coward. And you knew it. Sneaking out was so easy, facing the Saleen would be hard, and so you ran.

A whispered " _Vortex, could you please drop me off this time?"_ had you out of the base and in a pick up spot outside town long before the black and white would know you had left the building, bond slammed shut hours ago to keep him in the dark. _What a knight you were being_.

You fleetingly wondered if there had ever been a time when you were a good person but then you ruthlessly smashed that thought along with your guilt. The green Corvette skidded to a stop just yards away and you skipped over, sliding into the passenger seat.

"Hey babe!" He purred, engine revving.


	38. Innuendos

Crosshairs had pieced together a song for you, editing an old pop hit  to change the lyrics slightly. It could've been so sweet. But this was _Crosshairs_.

_"Sleeping with my car, I will undress you_   
_Sleeping with my car, I will caress you_   
_Laying in the back seat of my car, making out with him"_

You sputtered and burst out laughing.

"Could you be more obvious?! I mean, _jeez_..."

"How 'bout this, listen up: _I wanna frag you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside..._ "

"Alright, I get it!" You held up a hand in mock exasperation. "You're fucking unbelievable."

"That's what _she_ said!"


	39. Realizations

It wasn't your first time together, but in a way it was. You were laying on Crosshairs chest plates, connections already made, and lazily stroking cables and wires. The stars in the skies were the only witnesses out in the cool desert night, his heating plating keeping your increasingly naked skin warm.

It was something old and new all at once, reminding you of how it had been in the beginning with Ironhi... _Him._ The softness, the slowly rising arousal, the way you both explored each other. 

Of course you wound up interfacing, but it wasn't fragging, it was making love.You were wetter than ever and arched into his touching grippers and he slipped into you as if he was created to fit. Your connection got tighter, bleeding together until you didn't know what was him and what was you. And then, suddenly, you knew what those unnamed feelings were.

Care _._ Affection _. Love._


	40. Rejection

"Things are moving in the 'Con base. They're still planning, still preparing. They are building weapons. Starscream has made a solar converter to make energon to power the weapons, but it is still in testing. They need to make it bigger to aquire enough energon."

Your debrief drew to an end and you were dismissed. It was ironic how little the humans trusted you, having you barred from the meetings when you weren't reporting, even though Optimus Prime had pointed out that you could have input from your angle.

The rejection hurt, made it obvious that you were more accepted among alien robots than your own kind. 


	41. Busted

"Was it good?" A car couldn't speak through gritted denta, but Barricade made a good effort. "No, wait! Don't answer that. I already know. Could _feel_ it,  _Bondmate._ Nice of you to just sneak off, too."

You shrank in his seat. _You thought you had closed your bond but maybe you couldn't control it as good as you thought._

"You are giving _something_  to an _Autobot_ that you're not giving to me."

You worked your jaw, but no words came out, guilt eating at you.

"Or maybe it's to all the 'Bots, what do I know?" He spat, once again resorting to making you feel like a whore. A small part of you felt like you deserved it.


	42. Argument

"You've been stalking me all over the place, you have to _know_ by now that not one connection I make is the same as another!"

"But why a slagging _Autobot?!_  Do you really have to 'face them? _"_

"Is this some factional xenophobic bullshit? They have to think I'm loyal to them. You know I have to go deep to get the information we need." 

 "More like _he_ went deep." Barricade mumbled.

 "Are you seriously being jealous? Because I recall _you_ being the one to hand me over to just about anybot."

 "Yes, I am jealous! I don't get the difference! I can feel it through the bond, but I don't _understand_."

The bond was a turmoil of his jealousy, insecurity an possessive anger.

 "You are _mine!_  I fragging kept you alive, don't forget that. So what if you 'face the other 'Cons, I _know_  they don't measure up. You don't feel like that about them."


	43. Torn

It was getting out of hand. You considered yourself lucky that he didn't understand what your feelings for Crosshairs meant. You would be outed like a traitor in seconds. Or maybe he couldn't? If they killed you, what would happen to him? Would he react like you had? Or would it be inconsequential to him, relief?

Before, you knew something, some feelings were missing in your bond, but you didn't know what. Now it was obvious. Now that you were falling in love with Crosshairs. Barricade didn't _love_ you. He _wanted_  you, but no love.

It hurt. You didn't think it would, but it did. Because somewhere deep in your heart, you sort of loved him.


	44. Lies

"Now what? I can't quit spying on the 'Bots and cover up our plans. And I'm not quitting 'facing with anybot I want to 'face, disregarding faction. I may be the base whore, buy I still have my own needs."  You almost winced at your own words, the lies about your mission. _Almost._  

He growled wordlessly.

"Knock it off. If they think I'm that involved with one of them, they won't even consider me being an infiltrator." _More lies_. It _sucked_.

"I can't even take my concerns to Megatron. The Decepticons doesn't allow bonding and I'd be outing myself. Do you know what they do to bonded pairs?" He sounded... defeated. 


	45. Horror

_Horrified_.

It was the only way to describe what you felt like. Barricade had informed you of the torture inflicted on bonded pairs as punishment: always with the other close enough to reach out and touch but restrained and unable to do it.

The pain doubling through the bond, making the bondmates simultaneously live through their own pain and terror as well as their partner's. Most deactivated. Some went mad. Being bonded was seen as a weakness.

You couldn't even find it in yourself to be angry with Barricade. He admitted that he didn't think the bond would be so strong with a human. It was supposed to be sparkplay the first time, because he was curious. Then it turned into something that was between him and you, something nobot else did.

Even through all your contempt for the _situation_ , you acknowledged that you wouldn't wish that kind of torture on the Saleen.

You felt his turmoil: insecurity, fear, uncertainty and a dreadful sense of something he wanted slipping away.


	46. Prize

"I was bonded before." You blurted.

"You were?" He asked quietly, his rage gone with his realization of how truly stuck he was.

You snorted bitterly. "Why did you think I was so messed up when we started fucking? He's gone. He... He was deactivated." It wasn't that long ago you had been unable to even think about it.

"I just thought you were an Autobot groupie. You were _such_ a prize; one of the 'Bot's pets and you so willingly fell into every berth I pointed you at. It was almost like winning a battle. And _I_ was the one catching you first."

_So that's what the victoriousness was all about._

"Well, one thing is certain. We better keep ourselves alive. A broken bond is... It's worse than the pit." You said.


	47. Break up

"The others can't know. We can't show how much we affect each other." He said thoughtfully.

You were parked on a ridge, overlooking the barren desert, sun setting and you couldn't shake the feeling of the two of you breaking up. It was an unexpectedly bitter feeling.

"I know. How do we even succeed with that? I guess we have to keep interfacing." To say it like that felt like dirtying the act. _How_ _weird_.

He snorted. "We close the bond. It should wither, I think. I don't know much about that stuff. Until it does, we pretend to 'face to keep up appearances. You're a good actress. Play at seducing me and stay in my quarters sometimes. After that, we'll see what happens."

_A break up and a business agreement._ You didn't voice that you didn't believe the bond would wilt.


	48. Hollow

It felt hollow, weird, to walk around the 'Con base with the bond closed. Even before you realized what it was, before you strengthened it with the second spark touch, it had been there.

Now, it was still there, but it felt like a door had been shut. A door with a dirty window, where you could still see a bridge but couldn't reach it. You found yourself itching to open it. A need to _feel_ him again.

You guessed Barricade struggled just as much, because you caught him staring repeatedly. His optics sought you out in the crowds as much as you found him, not even realizing you were looking for him until you locked gazes. You seemed to bump into each other all the time in the hallways.

You didn't tell him your doubts about the method. If bonds could be withered that easily, bondmates wouldn't struggle so much with losing the other, would they? Still, you hoped he was right because this was terrible.


	49. Homestretch

The next debrief was coming up like the light in the tunnel and you felt like you were on the homestretch; you needed to get away. The bond had kept you grounded, affecting you more than you had ever realized and without it, you were struggling.

It had forced you to suppress your negative feelings when 'facing the 'Cons to not reveal that you weren't the willing whore anymore. Now you couldn't, because it took too much energy just to keep the bond closed. Now the filthiness of every act hit you full force. It felt like weeks of being permeated in unwanted transfluid, stumbling from berth to berth in an increasing energon-haze.

You admitted to yourself that you had upped your use and that it was to push down the disgust of what you were doing. It wasn't a good solution and it was a step back and you knew it, but you just found yourself unable to do something about it. Good thing you'd have a week's relief.


	50. Duty

Blackout was the one to take you, Barricade saying he couldn't do it. You were disappointed and relieved. Your resolve to keep the bond closed was crumbling and alone time with the Saleen may not be a good idea.

Of course Blackout wanted to interface before dropping you off. You stifled the need to make a grimace and got out, allowing him to transform. _How had you ever thought it hot that they wanted to frag you like this?_

You didn't wear your armor, never did to the 'Bots, but you dutifully plugged his cable into your neck port and flooded him with arousal you built from fantasizing about somebot else.

 

 


	51. Breakdown

You always brought a towel for things like that, the 'Con taking you almost always wanted to go a round.

Even wiped down to the best of your ability, you still felt dirty. And so, you stepped into the 'Bot's base and promptly broke down, bawling your eyes out, something you hadn't done for as long as you dared remember.

Crosshairs scooped you up, carrying you to the washracks and plugged in a cable to try to soothe you with embracing you through the connection, a gripper stroking your hair. You clung to his fingers as if they were a lifeline.

 

 


	52. Rant

"I-I just fragged a 'Con! I'm filthy and sticky and disgusting and I understand if you don't want me, but I just _have to_ , you know? I've been whoring for them for years and I can't stop now because they would get suspicious and, oh my God, I'm _disgusting_!" You ranted, tears falling freely.

Crosshairs said nothing, just held you under the spray. His assurance over the connection made you feel worse, more like a traitor, filthier but he kept brushing it away.

"Will you fuck me? I need something real, I need to _feel_. I need _you._ Make me feel alive again." You sobbed, desperately needing to drown it all out.

"Of course. I don't find you disgusting for doing what you have to."


	53. On the run

It lasted five days. Your respite, that is. Well, truth be told, you were antsy the entire time, but on the fifth night, you broke down and freaked out for causes unknown.

You were out of the 'Bot's base and driving a "borrowed" Hummer at illegal speeds in minutes, even though you hadn't driven for years, hadn't even  _been_  in an insentient vehicle. You didn't even think about that, your entire awareness narrowed down to a tiny focal point that seemed to swallow everything, trying to devour you.

The only thing thrumming through you was the desperate need to get away, to get to...  _something_  that was pulling on you, like a strong magnet lurking somewhere out in the empty desert.

 

 


	54. Set to crash

It was a figurative head-on collision. The Hummer lurched to a halt and you threw yourself out, the door left open, engine idling and high beams reflecting on black and white armor twisting in frantic transformation.

The doors on your bond slammed open and both of you gasped at the intensity, the relief of just  _feeling_  each other again overwhelming.

Barricade almost landed on top of you, your clothes were shredded by sharp talons and cables were impatiently tugged and jammed in connectors.

He rolled over on his back, lifting you to chest plates urgently sliding apart, and you tugged at every sensitive cable and wire you could reach.


	55. Afterglow

It was like a supernova. You writhed in the heat of his spark and both of you overloaded almost instantly. It stretched out and built through the bond, scorching your very beings and all the conflict and tension of the last weeks was incinerated.

You ended up on your back next to him, content with feeling him again, soothed in a way you had thought impossible. You felt his calm content and relished in it, his feelings smooth like the surface of a lake where no gust of wind rippled the water. He felt serene, in a way you had never felt him before. It was with reluctance you broke the moment and sat up.

"I'll just turn off the car. Then I have an idea."

 

 


	56. Not your type

"You want my holoform?" He asked flatly, as if you were asking him for his blessing to sleep with an _Autobot_.

"Just trust me. It'll be good." You plugged the cable you had pulled out when you went to turn off the car back in and waited.

Light flickered and a man appeared in front of you. You tilted your head, resisting the urge to facepalm.

"Where did you even get the _idea_ for _that_ holoform?"

"First police show I found online upon arrival."

"Which show was it?"

"It was called Reno 911."

You rolled your eyes, just to avoid that facepalm.

"Figures. Sorry, but _lieutenant_ _Dangle_ just doesn't turn my crank."

Light flickered again, and you shut your eyes against the brightness.


	57. Want

"You know, 'Cade, I think Colin Farrell _was_ kind of cute in 'SWAT' 'n all, but when I said I wanted your holoform, I meant _you._  Look like yourself."

"Oh"

Light flashed again and the next time you opened your eyes, you were eyes-to-chest-plates with the Saleen.

He studied you with four intense optics and you grabbed his servo, lacing your fingers with his digits. The humming of the forcefield creating the image shuddered through your body in a way you had long forgotten since the last time you touched a holoform. Back with _Him._ You took a steadying breath, overcoming that realization.  _You wanted this._ You felt his questioning curiosity.

"Trust me." You whispered, pulling him with you to the ground.


	58. Exploration

You wrapped your arms around his neckstruts, one leg over his hips to press him close, and you teased his sharp denta with your tongue. His intakes didn't really invite to kissing, but it was what you needed and, _dammit_ , you were going to try.

He responded, cupping your ass, and pressed you even closer. His glossa slipped out, and tentatively rubbed against yours, the practice obviously foreign to him. He grew bolder, licking and exploring your mouth, and you wouldn't be able to stop the moan escaping you even if you had wanted to.

A flash of light you saw even through closed eyelids, _and when did you close your eyes?,_ told you that he changed his holoform. You cracked open an eye, but saw no difference.

His hungry kiss told you what had changed: sharp denta had given way to metallic but supple lips.


	59. Escalation

He moaned when you tweaked his audial. You filed it away for future use and tweaked it again. His servos roamed your body and when his knuckles rubbed your nipple you gasped and arched into him. He pulled back out of the kiss to look at you.

" _Hmh_. There's more to this organic frame than I thought." He said, smug.

You slipped a hand to his interface panel, slipping a finger into the seam. He bucked involuntarily, the engine of his prone frame revving a few yards away. His panel popped open, by his startled look, you guessed it did it on its own accord.

You smirked back, rubbing over the pressurizing spike, grabbing it to give it a few slow strokes.


	60. Beg

He was uncharacteristically slow and careful, _maybe he was uncertain what to do?_ , and so you rolled onto your back and pulled him with you. The holoform hovered above you, braced on elbows and knees.

You slipped a hand around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, and with your other hand you lined up his spike with your ridiculously wet cunt. This wasn't what you had planned, but now it sure was what you wanted.

" _Please_." You whispered in a hoarse voice.

He still hesitated and you wrapped your legs around his hips, bucking up to get him inside you.


	61. Climax

He groaned when he slipped into your wet heat and you arched up into him, needing him closer. He answered and devoured you in a hungry kiss and it was raw with want, yet still soft with the need thrumming through your bond, _finally_ reestablished and open.

His servo slid down to rub your oversensitive nub and it didn't take long for you to climax harder than ever, wailing out your unadulterated pleasure into the cool night air.

He followed you with an inhuman warble, pressing in deeper, his holoform vibrating with the strain of staying in its form. The vocalizer of his frame hummed feedback and his frame twitched next to you on the ground.


	62. Intimacy

It was one of those rare moments when none of you were chasing overload, but content with just being close in the afterglow. You pressed closer to the holoform, stroking his audials and he really _looked_ at you, saw you.

His servos mapped out your body, exploring but not to arouse, and you shivered when he trailed your backbone with careful digits. It was a softness he had never showed before and you could feel his curiosity through the bond.

And right there, in that moment, nothing else in the world mattered but your bond, smooth and calm and tightly knotted, like a lovers embrace.


	63. Change

"I have to go back."

Barricade's holoform grunted, but allowed you to untangle yourself. You gathered your clothes and turned to look at the Saleen, the holoform gone, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Smooth." You held up the torn remains of your clothes, unwearable. "How 'm I supposed to explain coming back naked?"

He shrugged unrepentantly. "It's a nice view..."

You snorted. _Perv_. Your bond felt different. He wasn't uncertain, no insecurity. No jealousy of sending you back naked. You had to think that over later.

 

 

 

 


	64. Homecoming

You were in luck, for once. Somebody had left some military fatigues in the back of the Hummer. They were huge on you.

Barricade drove off in the opposite direction, but you were both calmer, the bond wide open and content in a way you hadn't experienced before.

You tried to sneak in, but that was pushing your luck. After all, they were highly advanced 'Bots _and_ the military.

"Nice outfit." Crosshairs raised an optic ridge and smirked at you.

You must look hilarious, almost disappearing in the shirt and pants in desertcamo pattern, but sudden guilt killed your amusement with cruel teeth.

"Yeah, I, uh... I fell into something sticky."

 

 


	65. Guilt

Guilt.

It seemed to be all you felt these days. It was confusing, because you couldn't tell who you felt most guilty for. You felt guilt for running off to Barricade. And you felt guilty for thinking of it like that, as if the Saleen was just a fuck. Fleetingly, you thought that it was more than a little ironic that you never ever had felt guilty when you snuck off with half the 'Cons while you were still married.

You avoided Crosshairs that evening, shying away from his touch, and you could see that he noticed. You could see that you _hurt_ him. More guilt.

Then Barricade nudged you questioningly through the bond. You pushed back that you were fine. _More guilt._

 

 


	66. Confession

"Did I do something?"

_Of course_ Crosshairs would corner you, he wasn't the type to just let it fester. You were packing up, due to return to the 'Cons later, and you had avoided him all last night and so far today.

"No, you didn't. I just... I'm just a little confused..." You hedged.

"And those feelings we shared last time we hooked up? That's _nothing_? _I'm_ nothing?"

"It's not that. It's not _you._  I-I _do_ love you." And it was the truth.

"It's not _me_ , it's you?" He asked bitterly. "I feel _so_ much better now. Just be _honest_ and tell me what the fragging problem is."

You took a deep breath. _Fuck it all._

"I have a bondmate."

 

 


	67. Coming clean

"What?!"

Crosshairs glared at you, frame tense.

"I thought your husband left you." He added.

" _That_ , he did. I mean a Cybertronian bondmate. I'm sparkbonded."

"Do you mean... Ironhide?" He almost sounded pleading.

You flinched when he said _His_ name, but you didn't break.

"No. I...I have a new bonded."

There was so much hurt in his optics, you winced.

"Who?" He was angry.

"A Decepticon." You weren't about to say who. Crosshairs wouldn't hesitate to go after him.

 

 


	68. Convince

"She's bonded to a fragging ' _Con_!" Crosshairs snarled and dumped you in front of Ratchet and Optimus.

"That's impossible!" Ratchet scoffed, impatient with what he considered a lover's spat.

"It's not." You whispered.

"Why do you think you are bonded?" Optimus asked, ever patient and compassionate.

"I was bonded to Ironh... Ironhide. I didn't know it back then, but now I know what it was. That knowing of how the other feels. The connection..." 


	69. Crumbling

"It was a mistake!" Your voice was going screechy with panic.

Crosshairs scoffed and turned away, crossing his arms.

"I didn't know what would happen and we sparkplayed. Then it was too fucking late." You dragged a hand through your hair, exhaling sharply.

"Then I recognized the connection and figured out what it was. We tried to close it, the Cons don't allow bonding. That didn't work, we ended up compulsively _strengthening_ the bond instead."

Ratchet gagged, probably aware of how that had gone down.

"That's what you did last night." Crosshairs said, voice cold.

You crumbled under his stare.

 

 

 

 


	70. Jaded

"Was it good?" Crosshairs sneered.

You had a sense of déjà vu. Except the last time it had been Barricade asking that.

"Don't. Just...don't." You whispered, so jaded with it all.

"Well, I guess it had to be _fantastic_ to make you run away to frag him even during this short visit."

"We closed the bond after the last time I was here. The pull was out of control, I needed to reestablish the _bond,_  not a frag."

"That was just icing on the cake then." He stated flatly.

"I am bonded to him, like it or not. The bond needs to be taken care of or it starts to hurt, to force me to do something about it. This is the way it is, I can't do anything about it." Your voice lacked heat, you were just so fucking tired.

 

 


	71. The truth

"Can't we just offline him and get it over with?" Crosshairs asked coldly, turning to Prime.

You backed away in horror, holding your hands across your mouth.

"No-no-no! I can't... I can't go through that again! Don't... It'll _kill_ me! I'm not that strong."

"Breaking the bond would most certainly be uncomfortable for you, but it won't be the same as with Ironhide. This bond is a mistake and not formed out of love and it will mostly likely be easier to handle. And we will be able to help you, now that we know what you're going through." Ratchet tried to persuade you.

"But I... I _love_ him." You whispered, a confession to yourself as much as to them.


	72. Setup

They moved swiftly when the course of action was decided, setting the trap with your help. You felt like a traitor, luring the Saleen out.

The Autobots jumped him, intent on catching him as unscathed as possible. Barricade would have none of that. He fought denta and talon for his functioning and freedom.

You could feel it through the bond, his rage at your betrayal and his determination to rather _offline_ than surrender.

And they were slowly ripping him apart, unable to subdue the vicious 'Con. Your body started running even before you decided to.

"No! Stop it, you are _killing_ him! Barricade!"


	73. Caught

Crosshairs had stayed behind with you, watching dispassionately, but as soon as you ran, something shot out of his arm and hit you in the back, stopping you in your tracks.

It was a long moment of nothing, then suddenly heat bloomed from where he had you hooked and your world was pain. With an almost inhuman screech, your knees gave out and you fell to the ground, writhing.

Through it all, you heard Barricade's vocalizer short out from his own screaming, and you forced yourself to watch as he buckled to the ground under the pain you just couldn't _stop_ flowing through the bond.

He flailed and clawed at nothing visible and was pinned down and in stasiscuffs in seconds. Then you couldn't take it any more and everything went black.


	74. The show must go on

You watched the video feed from the brig, the screen showing the Saleen slumped against the wall, optics offline. He looked defeated. _Or betrayed_. You winced.

You looked down at yourself. Dirty, knees of your pants torn from when you hit the ground, blood where you had scraped yourself when you fell. The perfect picture of how you felt mentally. Ragged and torn.

Crosshairs sweeped you up, uncaring of your yelp of pain, unrepentant for being the reason you felt like you'd been run over. He was forgiven instantly. You brought it on yourself.

You tried to squash your guilt, only halfway succeeding. A deep breath to collect yourself, center your focus on the task at hand.

_Game time._


	75. Surprise

Barricade watched with bright optics when Crosshairs dumped you in the cell next to the Saleen.

"I guess you'll be happy down here with your filthy little 'Con loverbot." The Autobot sneered.

"So _he's_ the one?" The Saleen snorted. "I guess the saying should go 'Hell hath no fury like an _Autobot_ scorned.'"

You stared, incredulous. _What?!_

_"You_ read Shakespeare?"

The Mustang shrugged.

"I'm a ' _Con._ Doesn't mean I'm stupid or ignorant. And I got bored with YouTube."

He smirked victoriously at the still glaring Autobot when you involuntarily fell a little more in love with him and pulsed your pride through the bond.


	76. Crossing lines

"Why are you still here? She's already mine on a level you can't even get close to." Barricade studied his talons, perfect picture of arrogance.

"Because you didn't allow her to _choose_. You just  _took_ her." Crosshairs seethed.

He was in the cell with the Saleen so quickly you didn't see how he got in, a servo on the back of the 'Con's neck and the other brutally bending his arm up on his back. Crosshairs easily pinned the smaller mech on the slab serving as a berth.

"Maybe I should show you what it's like to not have a choice? Hm? Would you _like_  that, 'Con?" He growled in Barricade's audial, covering the Saleen's frame with his own.

He ground his pelvic plating against Barricade's aft, releasing his neck to drag a servo suggestively up the Mustang's thigh to the junktion where legstrut met hip.


	77. About consent

"Cross. Don't. I know you're better than that." Your voice was quiet.

"Yeah, I am. But why should I? Carpe Diem, n' all..."

"You would seize the day with a rape?"

"Oh, he'd like it in the end. I bet he likes _forced_ _entry_. I'd make him overload so hard none of his optics could see straight. Then it would just be dub-con, pun intended."

Barricade tried to get loose, flailing, but whined and stilled when Crosshairs pushed his arm up further, straining the joint.

"Mmh, _yeah._  I like it when you struggle. It'll make it so much sweeter when I make you drip with need." The Autobot murmured in Barricade's audial.

"Just leave him alone. This is so fucking pointless!" You almost lost your cool.

_The plan, dammit, stick to the plan!_


	78. Mindgames

Crosshairs _did_ back off.

"Frag you!"

Barricade snarled as soon as he was released, flaring his armor and pretending to be unruffled but you could feel his distress through the bond.

"Actually, it would be the other way around." Crosshairs leered. "I knew you'd like it. Don't worry, I can come back later and... finish this." He dragged his digits over Barricade's interface plate.

The Decepticon slapped the servo away, reeling back until his back slammed against the wall, fear in his optics and EM field. Crosshairs smirk turned into a nasty grin.

"Not so tough _now_ , are ya? Fragging bastard." He snickered.

He left the upset Saleen, nonchalantly turning his back on the shivering mech, and sauntered off without sparing you a glance.

_You were up next._


	79. Prove a point

"What do you see in that aftport?" Barricade scoffed, still trying to recover his composure.

"Oh _please_. Like _you_ ever cared about consent before."

"The frag's that supposed to mean?" He snarled.

"I clearly remember me saying 'no' and you telling me to 'shut up.' Did you think I _wanted_  to fuck Hook those first times? Or how about our _bond_?" You were getting angry just thinking about it.

"You liked it in the end."  

"Yeah. So if Crosshairs had fucked you through the berth right now and you _had_ overloaded, then it would be alright?!"

Barricade scowled but remained quiet.


	80. Explanation

"You didn't tell me why you put up with him."

 _Oh, the Saleen wasn't letting it go._  

"I love him. And he's not a bad mech, not really. He's just jealous. He's in love with me but we haven't bonded and our bond make him insecure."

Barricade snorted.

"Whatever." He said. As if it was inconsequential.

"Don't. Fucking. Belittle. It. You were jealous of him, remember?! Newsflash: that  _difference_  you were griping about? The difference that bothered you, that you didn't understand? It was  _love!_ " You snarled the last word, slamming your hands against the bars in frustration. "He love me. And I fell in love with him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 80 chapters in this alternate ending done and 6 months since the Falling to con-verse was born!


	81. Love hurts

"Every time I connect with him, I can feel his love. It's different than what we have, you are special too, but we're just _missing_  important parts."

You watched Barricade slide down against the wall, slumping defeatedly on the floor. It almost made you break, but you stayed strong, intent on getting to the bottom of this mess.

"We didn't start out like that, we took it in the wrong order, but I have fallen in love with you too. But I _know_ you don't love me back. You value me as a possession, but you don't _love_ me." Your voice cracked, because you wished this wasn't true.

He was quiet for a long time but when he finally answered, his low voice was so flat it was hauntingly obvious that he wasn't human.

"I  _can't._ " 

 

 


	82. Resurfacing

Your heart plummeted but you didn't miss the misery on the other side of the bond either.

"When we're branded into the faction, they do something..."

He paused, as if it was hard to tell. Through the bond you could feel shame, hurt and helplessness.

"They _hack_ us and remove some of the emotional subroutines. The emotions that would be a problem for Megatron. Love. Remorse... I... I don't even know which ones they took."

He shuddered, and you felt the distress. Almost as if he'd been raped and suppressed it until now.

"I was _hacked!"_

Hurt and betrayal flooded you as it returned to him, repressed memories surfacing.


	83. Suggestion

You watched the Saleen curl in on himself, looking small and vulnerable in his prison. You tried to push reassurance and empathy through your bond, even though you now knew that he wouldn't understand. Then you got an idea.

"So with an upload of the right programs, you could feel all those things?" You felt sceptical and hopeful all at once.

"I guess. I don't even know what it was like to have them. It's like they disappeared completely, even my memories from when I still had them is stripped of those feelings."

"Would you do it, though? For me? You'd never be able to go back to the Decepticons. On the other hand, our bond puts you in danger too."


	84. Bullheaded

"I'll be as good as offline alone. No energon, being labeled a traitor. And that's if I even get out of here. I'll probably be rusting away in Autobot custody forever." He scoffed.

'You don't think you'd be able to broker a deal?" You were navigating dangerous waters and treaded carefully.

"Yeah, _right._ Like Prime would want a turncoat 'Con in his fold. Or that glitched loverbot of yours. I bet he'd be _ecstatic_ to get a chance to have me alone without prying eyes. All while you're off to the 'Cons, getting fragged into oblivion." Barricade's voice was like acid.

"I think you seriously underestimate Optimus." It was all you could say not to start screaming.

_Sometimes, he was just too fucking stubborn._

 

 


	85. Traitor

The doors to the brig opened, admitting the imposing form of Optimus Prime. He opened the door to your cell and you stepped outside.

Crosshairs followed in his wake and from the corner of your eyes you saw Barricade move further back in his cell, fear in your bond.

The paratrooper crouched down and offered you a cable and you plugged it in, feeling the jealous anger over your bond. In seconds, everything was put right between you and the Autobot, sorted out and smoothed over.

"You! You were in on this _the whole time!_ " The Saleen hissed at you, stinging betrayal flooding you through the bond.


	86. Negotiation

"It was to protect you! I knew you wouldn't talk without a bit of coercion. I am sorry about the method, but I am not sorry for caring about you."

The Saleen glared back and forth between all of you.

"Have all Decepticons been hacked?" Optimus asked, changing the topic.

"What's it to you,  _Prime_?" Barricade sneered the title.

"Everything. Do you want a deal or not? Because we could always send you back. In pristine condition, topped up with fuel. The other Decepticons wouldn't find it suspicious at all. Right?"

_Blackmail?! Who knew Prime had it in him?_

 

 


	87. Terms

You watched Barricade flounder, the Mustang unprepared for the question. He was firmly stuck in a corner. Apprehension and hope filled you as he thought over his options.

"Yes. Every Decepticon I know have been hacked." Barricade slumped. "What are you offering now?"

"You get the files uploaded. You will have a trial time when you are guarded constantly and we evaluate how the upload works. We'll keep you safe here." Optimus said.

 


	88. Revealing the act

Barricade opticed Crosshairs warily. The Autobot smirked.

"Safe. Except from _forced entry._ " Barricade said flatly.

"Aaw, you're breaking my spark. I prefer my partners willing and begging. It was just to soften you up for her interrogation. You _do_ have a seriously sweet aft, though..." Crosshairs leered, looking Barricade up and down.

You snorted and slapped the Autobot's leg with the back of your hand.

"Be nice. Good acting, though. You even had me nervous there for a second and I _knew_ about the plan."

 

 

 


	89. Irreconcilable differences?

"What about us? And you and him?"

Barricade pressed, not having accepted the deal yet. It was understandable, the situation complicated. You were still connected to Crosshairs, after all, and the Decepticon watched the cable with burning optics.

You steeled yourself, thinking about your conversation with Ratchet and Optimus earlier.

"What do the two of you know about trines?"

They both stared at you, uncomprehending. Realization dawned on them simultaneously and Barricade glared at Crosshairs, the Autobot returning the look with furious optics.

Then all hell broke lose and the screaming started.


	90. Common ground

'Shut up!"

"Shut _up_!"

"SHUT UP!"

You finally managed to get through to the pair currently trying to burst everybody's ears and audials.

"Did I say that you should just throw your chest plates open and spark-'face right here? Because I'm pretty sure I did not say _that_."

"I'm not bonding with _that_." They said in unison and then glared at each other.

"I'm glad you finally agree on _something._ " You said, exasperated, rubbing your temples.

 

 

 


	91. Persuasion

"You don't have to bond with each other right now. Look, you're both already connected through me. Ratchet told me this was very common on Cybertron, even among grounders."

"So, what, we just _share_ you? What's in it for us?" Crosshairs asked, more open minded than the Decepticon.

"This is how trines normally started out. If Barricade take the upload, he's going to need all the support he can get. And they are already bonded and won't break that." Optimus cut in.

"See it as a '2 for 1' bargain?" You tried to joke. "And you _do_ think he has a sweet ass..."

"Hey! 'He' is standing right here!" Barricade groused.


	92. Calm before the storm?

"I can't believe you got them to agree." Ratchet said.

"Never underestimate the power of a squishy woman." You quipped, leaving out the fact that Barricade really had no choice if he wanted to stay online and that Crosshairs was certain he'd win you over.

"Hmh."

You watched as Optimus extended a data cable to Barricade, the Saleen no longer stuck in the brig, but sitting in the medbay. He opticed it sceptically and you pushed reassurance at him through the bond.

You sat on Crosshairs' thigh, connected again to let him feel what Barricade went through by proxy, to let both of them get used to feel each other like that.


	93. Comprehension

At first, nothing happened. Barricade was sort of apprehensive as he installed the lines of code Optimus sent him. Then he reeled, almost falling off the berth. Optimus caught the overwhelmed Mustang easily.

"I-I... Ah... I... The things I've _done_!" He wailed, so filled with anguish, remorse, horror.

You felt Crosshairs, shaken to the core, and stepped up, pushing your love through the bond.

Barricade gasped, clutching at his chest.

"Now I understand." He whispered before his optics went black and he offlined.

 

 


	94. Surrounded

The plan was as simple as it was devious, putting it in motion was the hardest part.

All of you had to get used to each other quickly. Barricade had to go back to avoid suspicion. Surprisingly, the jealousy lessened now that he understood your feelings for him and what you and Crosshairs shared. 

To allow communication on that level, you were constantly connected to Crosshairs with a data cable.

"Mh, I _really_ enjoy having you on a leash..." He purred lewdly and tugged at the cable.

What made you choke on your morning coffee was the flare of _arousal_ from Barricade through the bond.

_Fragging_ surrounded _by pervs!_  



	95. Cop a feel

Barricade was due to go back. You were so incredibly nervous. Not for your scheduled return a few days later, but for him.

_What if the 'Cons noticed?_

He was so different; thoughtful, trying to work through what he'd done. A little sad.

You were shaken out of your thoughts by Barricade's startled warble. Crosshairs had pinched his ass. The Saleen glared at the unrepentant 'Bot.

_"Whaat_? Half the opposing faction is about to have their way with you. At least I deserve to cop a feel of that sweet aft of yours." He licked his lips and looked the Mustang up and down.

You smothered a smirk at how flustered he made the normally sassy little Decepticon.

 

 


	96. Dirty work

Barricade had never been the hesitant type before. 'Just fragging do it' n' all that... Besides, it was just _work_ , a mission to carry out. He'd agreed to it.

_Except now it didn't feel so good._   _Slagging newfound feelings._

Motormaster had him pinned to the wall in the washracks face first, forcefield stopping the Saleen from doing damage and his mission forcing him to play along and push away his rising panic.

"Fucking slut! I knew you'd come around and put out. Typical race frame, being a needy pleasurebot." The semi growled in his audial, servos pawing at his cold interface panel.

Barricade offlined his optics and opened his panel, bracing for impact. He extended a data cable.

" _Please_ , let me _feel_ you." He begged, disgusted by the digits shoved into his valve.


	97. Used

Barricade curled up in the corner of the washracks, fighting to stifle the distressed warbles queuing in his vocalizer.

Motormaster had filled him with slick and sticky transfluid and it felt like it clung to his frame and chassis, a protoform deep taint. No matter how much he washed himself, Barricade still felt dirty.

The gestalt leader had refused to take his offered data cable, leaving Barricade with the humiliation of being fucked, _used_ , against the wall and discarded like a buymech _._

_All for nothing. He'd failed his mission._

He shivered in disgust, burying his face in his arms and offlined his optics.


	98. Fretting

You felt his distress through the bond and reeled from the overwhelming disgust. He had slammed the bond shut before but now it flared wide open, wild and uncontrolled and it was like a punch in the gut.

"Something is off with Barricade. I need to contact him. He needs me." You said to Crosshairs, picking up your phone.

All you could do was send a text and wait for the Saleen to get an opportunity to call you back, afraid to blow his cover.

You tried to push reassurance through the bond and hoped he'd get back to you soon, worrying your lip until you tasted blood.

Crosshairs pulled you closer, trying to support you through your shared pain.


	99. Your world

"Are you alright? What happened? Did they...did they _rape_ you?" You answered in a rush, no pleasantries as a preamble when he finally called.

"I, ah... Motormaster fragged me. I asked him, so I guess it was consensual. He didn't take the data connection..."

You felt his shame and disgust again.

"Why did you start with him if it made you feel like that? He isn't one to go easy..." You had some experience.

"Opportunity. He was making lewd comments, so I rolled with it. And I thought it would be good to take down a gestalt leading heavy hitter. It's not like I want to be the new pleasuremech for _anybot_ anyway. Figured I might as well get it over with. It just wasn't as easy as I thought." He kind of choked the last words.

You snorted bitterly. "Yeah, welcome to my world."

 


	100. Leave 'em to me

You convinced him to try again, even though you didn't really want to push him to do something that made him feel so bad. You told him to do it with a mech he could bear 'facing. Somebot he wanted to make sure would be OK when everything was over.

"Leave the gestalts to me. I've done them before, I can do them again."

"How can you stand it?" He was disgusted, but jealous too.

"At first, I enjoyed it. Now, I do it as roleplay. It's work, I'm acting and I do it well. But there are days I feel like trash. I'll be over tomorrow and help out."

You both left it unsaid exactly what the two of you would have to do.


	101. Experienced

Crosshairs held you in careful servos, and you felt his jittering presence over the cable connection. He was nervous.

You were trembling, not with nerves, but with anticipation, because you weren't a newbie and you really wanted this. Closing the bond to Barricade slowly, like a series of winks instead of slamming a door shut, you focused on the green Autobot.

"Relax. It's going to be _fantastic_." You crooned, tweaking cables in his wrists, a sensitive spot you'd learned before.

The latches to his chestplates clicked three times before he actually managed to open them.


	102. Newlybondeds

You rested on Crosshairs' chest plates, reveling in the feeling of a new bond. He tested it out, searching you and you allowed him to do it, leaving most of your feelings open.

"This is intense." He said thoughtfully.

"Yeah. We can keep it down, or close it, when we have to, but it doesn't feel good."

"Have you, ah... have you closed the bond to Barricade?"

"Right now, yes. I won't keep it that way for long, but I don't know what he's doing right now and I can't risk putting him on the spot." You stifled a smirk, and tried to keep any hints out of the bond.

"Putting him on the spot?"

"Yeah, when I do this."

You pushed all of your arousal into the bond, having kept it almost fully suppressed, and Crosshairs flailed and bucked under you, his vocalizer glitching wildly.

 

 


	103. Bondsearching

When you eased the bond open, you felt Barricade searching you questioningly and you allowed him free reign, hiding nothing and trying to show him that you missed him, because you did.

It was a strange feeling, two bonds at once, but you could tell who was feeling what and it was a relief. The last thing you needed was a turmoil where you couldn't tell. It had been a gamble, nobody knew if it would work.

He found the bond to Crosshairs and you could feel his disappointed resignation. What was the biggest surprise, and a relief, was his acceptance.

 

 

 


	104. Flirt

You sauntered into the 'Con base as if you owned the place.

"I'm baaack!" You singsonged, spreading your arms and posing, showing off your barely covered body.

Vortex did a double take and turned on his heelstrut.

You squeaked when Barricade snatched you up unexpectedly.

"I go first." He snarled possessively at the 'copter. "I _was_ the one to find her in the first place."

Vortex was about to argue but you cut him off, defusing the situation.

"Go get your team mates. I'll come to your quarters." Sliding your hands down your chest, you gave him a saucy wink and threw him a kiss. "Later!" You mouthed, wiggling your tongue as Barricade stalked off with you .

 

 


	105. Change of topic

As soon as you were out of sight, you dropped the act, making a disgusted face. Barricade stared at you.

"What?"

He waited until the door closed behind you and you were alone in his quarters.

_"You_ are a true Decepticon. If it wasn't for our bond, I would believe that you were looking forward to 'facing all of them." Barricade said it flatly and ended it with gagging. It looked kind of funny, a very _human_ gesture he'd picked up.

"Speaking of. How are you doing?" Because the bond could only tell you so much.

"OK, I guess. I've uploaded to Blackout. He's out on 'patrol', trying to deal with it."

You nodded, about to ask more about it, but he changed the topic before you could open your mouth.

"So. _Crosshairs_?" 

 

 


	106. Conceit

"Yes. It was time. Overdue, in fact. I wanted it. Have wanted it for quite some time, actually. You knew we would do it, it was part of our deal."

He hummed noncommittally.

"Can you feel him?" 

"Yeah. Weaker than you, like I can feel the echo of him. I feel you and what you receive from him." He paused for a second, processing something. "He _does_ love you."

"Yes. And I still love _you_."

"I know." He smirked, opening his chest plates.

You rolled your eyes but couldn't stop the stupid grin on your face. He may be a conceited bastard, but he was _your_  conceited bastard.

_You wouldn't have him any other way._


	107. No options

You headed for the Combaticons' hab suite, Barricade sent out to find Blackout. The new emotional protocols would be too much to handle alone, you figured. Barricade had commlinks to Optimus, Ratchet and Crosshairs, in case he needed help and you had no worries for him.

You found yourself dawdling in the hallway, heart racing in your chest. If you fucked this up, you were dead meat. _A wet stain on the floor._

Pushing the thought away, you pinged a request for entrance. You would succeed. _Failure just wasn't an option._

 

 


	108. Berth or floor?

"My, aren't you eager?" You weren't even surprised.

Vortex was sprawled on the couch, self servicing lazily. Brawl was twisting his rotors. Blast Off was straddling Onslaught's lap, petting his barrels, the commander stroking the shuttle's wings. Swindle was counting credits, his equivalent of foreplay. You smirked knowingly. _To_ _each_ _his_ _own_.

"Berth?" You asked, pointing to their huge berth, custom made for gestalt... _activities._  "Or would you prefer the floor?"

"Berth." Onslaught answered.

He got up, lifting Blast Off when he stood. The shuttle former wrapped his legs around his commander's hips and was carried to the softly padded frag podium.

You swayed your hips when you approached and flared your plating. Somebot's cooling fans dialled up.

 

 


	109. Upload

It was easy to get them all connected to you, after all, you had done _that_ before. 

What was hard was the way your body responded to their arousal, to their touch. You shut your bonds, _they_ didn't need to feel you do this.

Brawl fell over first, pulling everybot else with him, and their overloads went back and forth through all of you, but you managed to stay awake anyway when they rebooted. That's when you did the upload.

Exhausted, and filthy, you crawled to the edge of the berth and laid down, struggling to stay awake as the new routines installed themselves in their code. Your eyelids grew heavy and you blinked slowly, trying to stay awake.


	110. Fallout

"The hound of Megatron" was a fearsome 'Con. Loyal to a fault, massive and imposing and armed to the denta.

And Barricade was _hugging_ him.

It was surreal, the Saleen thought, the way Blackout curled on the ground between Barricade's stretched out legs, vocalizer spitting static and binary beeps.

Barricade awkwardly rubbed his servos over the shivering frame in an effort to soothe the distraught 'Copter. Even though he knew exactly how it felt, it didn't make him any more experienced with _dealing_  with the emotional fallout of going from ruthless sociopath to having the same empathetic coding as the slagging _Prime_.

So when the Autobots came rolling fast, he was honestly relieved.


	111. Wrench

"Well, hello there, sweetspark." Crosshairs purred, wrapping an arm around Barricade's shoulders. "You need anything? _Anything_."

Barricade floundered, not sure how to handle the situation. He glanced at Blackout, the still shivering Helicopter wrapped in Prime's strong arms. Ratchet was doing a scan of the 'Con and none of them seemed to pay attention to the two sports cars.

He squeaked when Crosshairs' servo slipped down to the small of his back.

"Relax. I'll take _real_ good care of you." The Autobot crooned.

Barricade startled when a loud clang of metal hitting metal was followed by Crosshairs jumping back with a pained yelp. He stared at the mysterious wrench on the ground. _It hadn't been there before._

_"Knock it off,_ you one-process only glitch! You're _worse_ than a turbofox in heat!" Ratchet yelled at Crosshairs.

For the first time, Barricade saw why the Autobots seemed to like the _scary as frag_ CMO. And he didn't miss Prime's expression, barely stifling a smirk.

 

 


	112. Show me yours?

"Keep your Unicron damned servos to yourself! Horny glitch!" Ratchet snarled. "And apologize. He doesn't deserve you terrorizing him when he's doing good things. For once." Ratchet added, a little reluctantly.

Barricade wondered if he was defragging. Ratchet was defending _him_ against an Autobot, the _Prime_  was petting Blackout's rotors, whispering to the Helicopter, the massive mechs a surprisingly good fit in each other's arms. 

"I-I'm sorry. I just... I think you're _hot_. For real. I want to touch you and...Can you, ah..." Crosshairs trailed off, seemingly embarrassed, and wasn't _that_  uncharacteristic of the shameless 'Bot?

"Can you online your guns and let me take a picture?" The green Autobot said in a rush.

_What?_

"Why?"

"For my... well, my _spank bank."_ Crosshairs leered, embarrassment gone. 

Barricade had to check the term on the human data net and seconds later, he was vocalizersmacked again.

_Should he be flattered or grossed out?_


	113. Showoff

He stared at Crosshairs. His _bondmate-by-proxy_. The lewd 'Bot smirked at him, all annoying confidence. As if he already knew that the answer would be in his favor. Barricade wanted to wipe that infuriating smirk from his faceplates.

The green Autobot crossed his arms, flexing shiny plating as he did, and the Saleen's optics stuck on strong hydraulics. Crosshairs' smirk widened knowingly when Barricade's fans dialled up a step.

He so wanted to wipe that smirk away.

Barricade spun his shoulder tires, not missing the hiccup in Crosshairs' engine. He grinned victoriously.

_Interception_.


	114. I'll show you mine...

"I'll do it. On one condition." Barricade said smugly, confident he had found a way to win this standoff.

"State your terms."

"You do the same for me." Barricade smirked.  _Ha! Calling your bluff!_

The only answer he got was the humming of Crosshairs' guns onlining and the 'Bot flared his plating suggestively. Barricade's face fell. _He was so sure the Autobot wouldn't do it, that he was just hassling the Saleen for the fun of it._

He had to reluctantly admit, _to_ _himself_ _only_ , that the Paratrooper was kind of hot.

Crosshairs posed and turned back and forth and Barricade _did_ save the data from his optical feed. _For future blackmail possibilities only, he told himself._

"Got what you need?" Crosshairs asked, offlining one optic in a sort of wink.

Barricade nodded numbly and onlined his weapons, because he wasn't backing out _now_ , like a coward.

"Frag yeah, _that's hot._ " Crosshairs hissed.

 

 


	115. Reactions

You woke up to chaos. Despite your efforts, you _had_ fallen asleep and the scene before you might have been funny if it wasn't so damned heartwrenching and if you hadn't still been connected to them, making you feel their angst.

Onslaught and Brawl were hugging each other, Blast Off had covered his face with his servos, his entire frame shaking. Swindle was hugging a bag of credits. All of them were making staticky, beeping warbles, and you suspected it was their equivalent of crying.

Vortex's reaction was the most worrying: the interrogator was quiet, rocking slowly and bending his rotors, the metal protesting with creaking sounds.


	116. Feel

With all the cables still plugged in, you could monitor them all. It also made it incredibly hard to not be overwhelmed by their angst.

Vortex was the worst, he internalized it all and seemed to have retreated into his own processor. You climbed his frame, nudging him through your connection and with touches to sensitive wires and cables.

"Vortex, I need you back here! Come on, mech, talk to me." You coaxed.

His visor snapped into focus, brightening.

"There you are, darling." You crooned while pushing your acceptance through the connection, well aware of his pain.

"Why?" He whispered hoarsely.

"Because you need to _feel_. Everything is going to be alright. We need to go for a little flight, I know somebot who wants to help you. Can you help me get your brothers out of here?"


	117. Herding

Barricade and Blackout was about to leave when you arrived with the Combaticons. You herded the upset team to Optimus and Ratchet for check ups and briefing and much needed comfort.

"Has Cross left already?" You asked the Saleen.

He nodded once, looking absent as if he was processing something. You couldn't stop the flare of disappointment, having hoped to see Crosshairs, at least briefly.

"He was called away on an urgent mission." Barricade elaborated.

You couldn't help but worry for the 'Bot and checked the bond, getting an exhilarated reassurance back. Apparently, he was having a blast.


	118. Interest?

"What's up with you and the green 'Bot?" Blackout asked Barricade over the comm.

The Saleen was driving back to the base with you sleeping in his passenger seat. Blackout trailed from above.

"He's a pain in the aft." It was almost reflex by now, to scorn the 'Bot. "He has the hots for me." Barricade didn't want to talk about their... their _relationship_. He was still confused about it.

"Hmh." Blackout was silent for a while. "So what about the Prime?"

"What about him?" 

"Is he... bonded or something like that?" Blackout sounded hesitant.

"Not that I know of. Is he even allowed to? With the Prime-stuff, I mean. Why?"

"Just curious. Good to know, now that I'm going to see him frequently. He's a nice mech. Good size too. I like his paintjob." Blackout counted off.

Barricade let the words take a secondary process, his mind still occupied by his own relationship, what had happened earlier, his own reaction to -

_Wait._

His processes came to a screeching halt.

_Was the Helicopter interested in the_  Prime?!


	119. Back to reality

Back at the 'Con base, you regrouped in Barricade's hab suite. Blackout was supposed to go back to his normal function, but report anything important to the Autobots. His newly installed feelings made him jump ship immediately and having one of Megatron's most trusted mechs on your team was invaluable.

You would do the other combiners and Barricade was going to try his luck with Knock Out. The Medic would be a great addition to the new team.

"I feel so dirty, _tainted_ , doing this." Barricade said flatly.

Blackout patted him on the back supportively.

"But it's a good thing you're doing. If I get a chance to do Megatron, I will take it. Then it'll all be over." The Helicopter said determinedly.

You gave him the thumbs up for that initiative and headed for the medbay, looking for a 'Structiepile. Barricade went the other direction, going to the washracks. Knock Out wasn't going to be charmed by dents and dust.


	120. Panic

Of course it went to hell in a servobasket, when _didn't_ it?

You had just uploaded to the 'Structies, everything going smoothly, and they were rebooting when it hit you. 

_Pain. Disgust. Blind panic_.

You reeled, struggling to breathe through the onslaught of negative emotions through the bond. You couldn't slam it shut, wouldn't do it to him. He needed you and you tried pushing support through the screaming connection, gathering your wits and forcing yourself to finish the mission to not accidentally have a stampede of upset Constructicons blowing your cover.

"Hook, I need you to get all of you to this location." You spoke through gritted teeth, sending coordinates to the medic. "Can you do that? Just get all of you there and everything will be OK." 


	121. Crowded

"Now, _that's_ what I call a sweet aft." Motormaster leered.

Barricade spun around, startled by the Stunticon. He hadn't heard the truck enter the washracks and now he was stalking the Mustang like a predator. Wildrider and Drag Strip followed in his wake.

"You know, I can't stop thinking about last time. How _tight_ you were." 

Motormaster crowded the Mustang, his EM field heavy and cloying with arousal. Barricade tried to push him away, a futile effort against the much larger truck. 

Motormaster smirked nastily and slipped a servo between Barricade's legs, the Saleen trying to bat it away. The other Stunticons grabbed his wrists and pinned his arms to the wall, forcing him to stand on the tips of his pedes. Barricade struggled to free himself.

"Let _go_ of me, I don't wa... _._ " 

_Click_


	122. Discarded

With a swift tug on a wire, Wildrider disconnected Barricade's vocalizer. Motormaster looked at the Mustang with clear amusement, digits slipping into the seam of Barricade's interface plate, toying with the manual latch.

"I wonder if you're still as tight, now that  _Blackout_  has fucked you..."

Barricade flinched in alarm.  _How did Motormaster know?!_

 "You thought I wouldn't find out?" Motormaster raised an optical ridge. "Mmh, quite a little _slut_ , aren't you? I bet you like a big spike." 

"I don't hear him protesting, boss." Drag Strip snickered.

Motormaster chuckled, holding Barricade's optics as he kept fiddling with the latch. His nasty grin widened.

The truck tore the panel out, foregoing the latch, and threw it over his shoulder, discarding it, along with the hope Barricade had been clinging to.


	123. Backup arriving

He refused to stop struggling.

It made no difference. Motormaster alone was big enough to easily subdue the Saleen, and now they were three against one.

They took turns, holding the thrashing Mustang and using his frame.

Somewhere along the way, his right arm gave out and his lower right leg stopped functioning. He struggled nonetheless. Pain seemed to be distant, his frame going numb, as did his CPU.

They left him on the floor, covered in their fluids and his own energon. He was still laying there when you found him.

You managed to crash through the door, quite a feat for a human tackling a Cybertronian sized structure.

"Nononono..." You keened at the sight before you. "Baby, look at me!" You ran up to the collapsed frame.

Two dull optics tracked your movements, the other pair offline. You fell to your knees by his helm, frantically texting Blackout.

"I'll get you out of here. It'll be alright, baby. We'll take care of you." You crooned and caressed his face, tears dripping down your cheeks. "We'll take care of you."


	124. Worry

"Get him to the Autobots, then get back here." You barked out the order, the situation suddenly turning you into a commander you'd never been.

Blackout obeyed without hesitation and picked Barricade up from the floor, the smaller mech's helm lolling. He seemed to be offline, or retreated into his processor.

"What about you?" Blackout asked. 

There was so much _worry_ in his voice. He held the Saleen close and you could feel the fluctuations in his field, trying to comfort his friend.

"I can worry about my own safety another day. I have stuff to do and we can't blow our cover, I need to stay. If he tells you who did this, I want to be the first to know." You spoke through gritted teeth, devastation replaced by white hot fury. 

_Somebot was going to pay._  



	125. Self-appointed helper

He was handed over to Crosshairs of all mechs. _Frag his functioning_.

Barricade didn't have the energy to put up with his games. And part of him was so _very_ ashamed to be seen like this.

Crosshairs got him inside and put him down on a chair, checking him over, his field drawn in and unreadable. Barricade thanked Primus for the small favor of making the 'Bot keeping his vocalizer shut for once.

The Autobot's digits sneaked under his thigh plating and Barricade stiffened, but relaxed when his lower leg went blissfully numb and the digits disappeared again without unnecessary touching. Crosshairs swiftly did the same to his arm and found the torn cable to his vocalizer, fusing it. Barricade didn't care to test it. He had nothing to say. Instead he offlined his optics, weary with everything.

Crosshairs picked the Saleen up again, more carefully than Barricade had anticipated, and started walking down the hallway.

"Optimus and Ratchet aren't back yet. Let's get you to the washracks. I'll help you clean up, then you'll be ready for the medbay when Ratchet's back."


	126. Truth be told

"Like I would want you _pawing_ all over my frame right now, you perverted slagger!" Barricade squirmed as if to be put down, even though he knew he couldn't walk.

"You really think I'm _that_ despicable? That I would _violate_ you when you've just been _raped_?" Crosshairs asked, his field flat. He set the Mustang down on the floor in the washracks and stood back.

Barricade flinched, still reeling from what had happened, the Autobot's blunt words putting the limelight on what he hadn't wanted to admit to himself. _How weak he was to let it happen._  


No, he didn't _really_ think that Crosshairs would abuse him, not anymore, but he wasn't the type to admit that he was wrong. Or ask for help. He got defensive.

"I don't expect _you_ to understand what it feels like to have your frame used and defiled." He sneered.

Crosshairs' optics went hard and he folded his arms across his chest plates, defensively.

"Yeah, because I had so much _fun_  when _Astrotrain_ and _Blitzwing_ dragged me away from the battlefield. So much good, _consensual_ fucking. Yep, best _week_  of my functioning. Too bad the other Autobots found me and took me away from there." He hissed.


	127. Asking for help

Barricade worked his intake, frame gone cold. They stared at each other for long moments as the Saleen processed it. Crosshairs wasn't much bigger than Barricade, but the triplechangers made even Motormaster look small. _To have been their toy for a week..._

"I... I'm sorry." Barricade whispered hoarsely. It sounded lame, inadequate, to his own audials.

"Don't bother, it was a long time ago. This isn't about me, I didn't say it to earn your pity. Just don't..." The green 'Bot exvented sharply. "Don't think you're alone in this. And don't think you know me." There was so many unspoken emotions there, so much hurt.

Barricade nodded numbly, all anger and agitation vanished.

"You can't stand and you can't use your arm. The way I see it, you have two options. A: I drop you off in the medbay like that and you stay covered in somebot's fluids until after you're repaired. Or B: you _allow_ me to help you clean up." Crosshairs counted off.

_When he put it like that_... 

"Help me. Please." Barricade averted his optics, reminded of the state of his frame and ashamed for it.


	128. Trophy

"Tell me if I do something too upsetting. I'll stop right away." Crosshairs said, letting his field go smooth and comforting when he started to work.

Barricade nodded, optics offline. His field was heavy with embarrassment as he sat against the wall. The green 'Bot clenched his jaws, seething when he mapped out the scratches and damage on the black and white frame. _Slag_ _the bastard who'd done this._  


"Don't be ashamed, this is on whoever did this. I bet you put up one pit of a fight."

Barricade onlined two optics and silently held out something to him. When Crosshairs took it he saw that it was a piece of somebot else's plating. He couldn't stop the dark laugh that left him at the morbid trophy. 

"I knew it. That's my feisty 'Con." Approval and pride seeped into the Paratrooper's field.

Crosshairs kept cleaning the Mustang with a soft cloth, careful to keep his movements slow and steady to not startle him.

"I was in the washracks. I.. ah, I didn't hear them come in. They were three, parts of a gestalt." Barricade said, voice low and laced with static.

As soon as the designations of the assailants were uttered in the whispered monologue, the Autobot placed the call. You picked up on the first ring.

"Motormaster, Wildrider, Drag Strip." It was all he needed to say.


	129. Vengeance

It was easy to override the door to the Stunticons' quarters. After all, you'd slipped in several times before.

But this time, there was no coy teasing, no perverted wake up call. You just jammed the data cables in their ports and forced the upload. The fuckers were deep in recharge, _sated_ , and never saw you coming. _Disgusting carrierfraggers._

Motormaster onlined as the reboot finished and you didn't give him a second before you unloaded the next data burst, your little... _gift_.

The gestalt leader flailed and warbled in distress.

"Wh-what _is_ that?" He cried out, vocalizer spitting static as the others onlined too, their fields filled with agony.

You relished the power of being the avenging wraith, tormenting those who hurt one of yours.

" _That_ is what _Barricade_  felt when you _raped_  him, you sick slaggers!" You snarled.


	130. Changing

Crosshairs set him down on the medberth and threw a tarp over his hips, giving him some cover.

"The hinges need to be repaired." Crosshairs held up his interface plate to indicate what he was talking about.

Barricade nodded stiffly and watched the sniper put the panel on a bench before he came back to the Saleen, sitting down next to him. 

"Should I stay, or do you want to be alone?"

_What_ _did he want_? Just hours ago, he wouldn't have wanted Crosshairs here in this situation. Being a 'Con, he wouldn't want other mechs to see him this vulnerable.  But now, he wasn't sure anymore. Being alone seemed like asking for being immersed in the cesspool of memories from the last hours. _And Crosshairs had been nothing but helpful and comforting_.

"Stay."


	131. Stage whispers

They didn't have to wait long before Ratchet stormed into the medbay. He got to work immediately, assessing the damage, swearing under his breath, and Barricade was more than a little nervous with the irate 'Bot, but Crosshairs' calm field kept him grounded.  _Go figure._

"Creations of slaggers!" Ratchet growled when he lifted the tarp.

Barricade's rising urge to flinch away was interrupted when Crosshairs grabbed his undamaged servo and laced their digits together. Barricade stared at it, the gesture not Cybertronian but comforting nonetheless.

"Don't mind Ratchet. He's always like this when he works. Only time it's directed at you is if you've damaged yourself being a stupid aft. He's just a grumpy old... Ouch!" Crosshairs' stage whispers were cut off with a pained whine when a wrench hit him in the helm with unnerving accuracy.

"I heard that, you insolent glitch!" The medic snarled.

It was absurd. It was ludicrous even in his situation. Barricade couldn't stop the incredulous chuckle in his vocalizer. The Paratrooper grinned unrepentantly and Barricade couldn't shake the feeling that he'd taken the dent just for the distraction and comic relief it provided. 

It was sorely needed.


	132. Rebound?

"How did you get over it? I mean, to be fine with being _touched_ again."

Ratchet was repairing his array and it was hard not to think about the awkward and embarrassing position he was in. Barricade even had a hard time imagining enjoying a chaste stroke along his back at the moment.

"I... Ah.. I..." Crosshairs trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck in clear embarrassment. "I fragged. A lot. Well, after I was fully repaired, that took a while." The Paratrooper admitted but wouldn't meet his optics. "But only with 'Bots I trusted not to hurt or push me."

"How did you even decide who to start with?" Barricade was still enough of a 'Con to not really trust anymech.

"That was actually the easiest one." The Autobot didn't elaborate.

"Well, now you have to tell me who!" Barricade got annoyed with how tightlipped the Sniper was, actually forgetting his position at the moment. Maybe that was the plan.

"Prime"

 


	133. The terrified twosome

The three bastards were down for the count and you sobered up from your rage driven haze enough to realize that you needed to find the rest of Menasor, and you needed to find them _now_. Dead End and Breakdown probably had taken some sort of hit from your attack and you needed to make sure it didn't snowball into a disaster, panicking mechs getting everyone else suspicious.

You found them in the rec room, and for once their personalities were useful. No 'Con batted an optic when Breakdown had a fearful fit and cowered in the corner and it wasn't unusual for Dead End to claim it was the end of the world.

You patted Breakdown's leg and started to coax him out of the corner withan inward sigh. _Why_ _was nothing ever easy_?


	134. Strange behavior

It was a tedious task to get all the pieces of the young gestalt to Prime, especially since you hated the struts of three of them. The collateral damage to the other two was something you felt sorry for, but you regretted nothing. It had to be done, it you would have resorted to something much worse.

You dropped them off and returned to base, picked up by Blackout and you didn't miss how his optics lingered on the red and blue mech, nor that he twitched several times as if he was starting to go over there but aborted the movement, vocalizer clicking when he onlined and offlined it several times as if to say something but changing his mind.

  
_What was that about?_  



	135. Hard to believe

Barricade stared at the sniper, uncertain if his audials were malfunctioning.

"What?" Crosshairs asked.

"Prime." It was all Barricade managed to say.

"Yeah. I mean, can you think of a 'Bot less inclined to hurt anyone? To do something you don't want to?"

"Well, no, but he's _the_ Prime!" _That was like, Primus by proxy._  


Ratchet snorted. "You think he doesn't have urges and needs? He's not just a Prime, he's a mech too, you know."

_Wow_. _That was one of the fantasies all Decepticons shared but none would admit._  Then he thought of something else.

"Blackout will be ecstatic."

The tool Ratchet was using fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

" _What?!_ "


	136. Lonely

More and more Decepticons were being upgraded and all of them fell in line behind Prime by their own volition when the first shock settled. They got a probation period when they proved themselves trustworthy, then they were allowed to come to the Autobot base and the first converts were starting to trickle in for visits, acquainting themselves with the 'Bots.

They all remained under cover to not alert Decepticon Command to what was going on, toeing a delicate line of not exposing themselves but not do anything that harmed others.

Except Barricade. He remained on the Autobot base. You insisted, of course. That didn't make it easier or less lonely for you to handle the upgrading yourself. 

Every night, alone in your room, you would drink some high grade and long for both your bondmates, communication kept to a minimum to avoid discovery.


	137. Another day at the office

Starscream was all fluttering wings and devastated whistles when he rebooted after you finally managed to get to him.

The infamously traitorous backstabber was even more determined to topple Megatron from his throne built with spilled energon and broken frames. He would indeed be a valuable asset, knowing most of Megatron's plans and directly involved in more than a few of them. _Once he stopped sobbing._

You stroked his wings and crooned promises that everything would be okay.

For you, it was just another day at the office.


	138. Protectiveness

It came as a shock, the day Barricade stepped around the corner of one of the hangars they called home and came faceplates to faceplates with Motormaster for the first time since _that_ day and realized he was nowhere _near_ ready, in spite of insisting on being fine. They stared at each other, both like deers frozen in the headlights.

Barricade was about to turn and flee, spark spinning wildly, when Crosshairs suddenly appeared, jumping up on the much larger truck like some sort of cybermonkey. The Autobot punched Motormaster in the faceplates with a harsh crunch of metal.

"If you ever so much as _touch_ him again without permission, I'll offline you slowly and painfully. Autobot code _be damned_! He's _mine_!" Crosshairs snarled.

Barricade watched in silence as the truck fled the scene with a frightened nod. Crosshairs turned to the Saleen.

"You OK, sweetspark?" He wrapped an arm around Barricade's shoulders, giving his shoulder tire a reassuring squeeze.

Barricade just nodded, still stunned by the unexpected protective display. He couldn't even find it in him to bristle at the possessiveness.

"Let's get out of here." 

He allowed Crosshairs to lead him away, the press of the Paratrooper's field and frame against him surprisingly comforting.


	139. Crush

"Good evening, my Lord." Blackout greeted with a respectful bow.

"Hello, Blackout. But, _please_ , don't call me that." 

The Helicopter's stiff composure fell and he seemed lost and discouraged, almost cowed.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Prime."

"I am not a Lord, and there's no need to be so formal. Just call me Optimus." The Autobot smiled softly.

Blackout fidgeted nervously. _How was he supposed to go about this again_?

"But you are _the_ _Prime_."

"Yes, but it doesn't put me above anybody else. It just makes me a messenger. I'm still just a mech."

"It will take time to get used to this." Blackout said, voice low and unsure. His crush on the Autobot was muddled with reverent awe.

"Then let's start with something mundane. Care to join me for evening fuel under the stars? The sky is magnificent out here in the desert."

"Yes Sir!Prime, Sir. I mean _Optimus._ " 

It came out in a nervous rush and Blackout wanted to facepalm at his own idiocy. _Optimus_  just smiled and put a reassuring servo on Blackout's rotors to usher him outside, the helicopter heating up a few degrees from where the light touch seemed to tingle with electricity.


	140. Reasons

You had converted a good deal of the 'Cons, but had yet to make the upload to Megatron himself. The truth was that you were stalling.

It was an intimidating task, of course. You couldn't know for sure what type of firewalls the leader had. Starscream had been tricky, but you suspected that Megatron and Soundwave would be worse.

That scared you. If he caught on to what you were doing before the upgrade took, then you'd be nothing more than a stain on the floor.

Once upon a sticky berth, you might not have cared. But now you did.

_You finally had reasons to live to see another day. And you missed them both._


	141. Underneath the facade

Everybot was raw and damaged in some way. Millions of years of war did that. And everybot pretended they were fine, more or less successfully. That was just the way things were.

Barricade had been through more hardships than most just recently and he felt more ragged than ever now that he'd gotten his feelings back, even though he understood that most mechs felt like that under the shiny veneer.

It still came as a shock when _Crosshairs_ came ripping around the corner in panic. To Barricade, the Paratrooper had always seemed unflappable, tough and self-assured.

Now, the green 'Bot was trembling so hard his plating rattled, vents coming in distressed little gasps. He didn't even seem to notice the Saleen when he pressed his back against the wall and sinking to the ground with a low warble.

Unsure of what he should do, Barricade peeked around the corner to see what had shaken the Sniper.


	142. Speaking too quickly

"What, you've never seen a triplechanger before?" 

As he blurted the words, his processor helpfully supplied him, _too late_ , with exactly what kind of treatment this particular triplechanger had subjected Crosshairs to.

_Astrotrain_  was towering over everybot in the yard in front of the hangar, apparently the latest mech to be allowed to visit the base.

Barricade didn't know any details about the assault on Crosshairs, the 'Bot was incredibly tightlipped about it, but he knew that Crosshairs hadn't told anybot else who the perpetrators were. Otherwise he might have been given a heads up before the rapist showed up.

"I'm _sorry_! I-I didn't..." He trailed off as he sat down next to Crosshairs and wrapped him in his arms. _Stupid fragging... Why hadn't he kept his fragging vocalizer shut?!_

Crosshairs leaned into him, still trembling and Barricade rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"You'll be ok. I'm here and I won't let anything happen to you."


	143. Somecon to lean on

"I won't punch him in the face, because I'm not suicidal. But maybe I could take a few pot shots at him for you?" Barricade tried to offer the sort of comfort he knew best: violent retribution.

The ridiculous suggestion seemed to break Crosshairs out of his panic. He chuckled and pressed his helm against Barricade's shoulder, his field slowly calming down.

"Nah, Prime would just throw you in the brig, and it's boring down there. Besides, if I want him taken out, I could blow his helm to smithereens from here with my optics closed." The Sniper's cocky confidence was coming back.

"Thanks for the offer, though. And for being here." Crosshairs added and squeezed Barricade harder for a second.

"You're welcome." Barricade really meant it.


	144. Shore leave

"Those two are disgustingly cute. But do they really think they're fooling anybot?"

You sat on Crosshairs' leg, leaning against Barricade. Finally on a little well deserved shore leave, you wanted to be close to them both and in your absence, they seemed to have grown closer. They had no problems cuddling up on the couch to enable you to be close to them both and you wasn't one to pop the hood of a gift car.

The subjects of your stares were Optimus Prime and Blackout, sitting on another couch, that looked more like a chair with the huge mechs occupying it.

"I mean, _come on_! Do they think we wouldn't approve?" It was ridiculous. "'No, there's nothing between us, were just _friends_. We just don't have any need for personal space.'" You did a terrible imitation of Optimus' voice. _Millions of years old mechs and they were acting like teenagers._

Crosshairs snorted.

"I still can't believe you interfaced with _Prime_." Barricade whispered.

You turned to Crosshairs, eyes wide.

"What?!"


	145. You did who?

"This, I have to hear!" You were dying from curiosity.

Crosshairs shrugged.

"I might tell you both all the dirty details some day, _you pervs_ , but it was just interfacing."

"Yeah, but it's _Prime_! That's like fragging _Megatron._ " Barricade said but scrunched up his faceplates as he said it. "Well maybe not exactly like Megatron, but you get the point."

"I've fragged Megatron. He's... _big_." You said, too occupied with watching the Autobot leader and 'the hound of Megatron' trying to covertly paw at each other to notice Barricade's disgusted face when he talked about interfacing with the Decepticon warlord.

" _Eew_ , I did not need to know that."

"Aah, the pictures in my helm!"

"Processor bleach! I need it. _Now!_ "

"Would someone _please_ delete this from my harddrive?!"

You rolled your eyes. Your bondmates were being ridiculous.


	146. Call them out

"For Primus' sake, get a _room_!" You hollered.

Prime's servo had found it's way to Blackout's rotorhub, and the helicopter was stroking smokestacks in a decidedly obscene manner. They both startled, somehow thinking they were completely discreet.

"I've been whoring myself out to mechs of all frametypes for a long time, you think I don't recognize _petting_  when I see it? Just get over yourselves and get to the fragging already, nobody here is going to object." 

They stared at you for a few seconds, embarrassed to be called out, then they hopefully took your advice, because they scuttled off.

"Aaw, pit. They were putting on such a good show." Crosshairs whined and rubbed Barricade's tire, revving his engine suggestively.

Through the bond you felt Barricade's indecision. _Attraction, want, fear._  


	147. Next level

You went back under cover again. Starscream had calmed down enough to tweak the upload you carried, to be able to make it through the firewalls of Glorious leader and his TIC.

Soundwave was to be the first target, the telepath had to be converted first to stop him from hacking Megatron and wipe out all your hard work.

It would be tricky, the mech one of few who never used your services. But you knew a lot about how he was connected to his symbiotes, and that would be your ticket to success.

It wouldn't be bestiality, they were all mechs after all, and you had been the one considered an  animal for too long to think about semantics. It still took you for a mental spin.

_Off to find Ravage._


	148. Ravaged

Ravage was a surprise and a half. The mechanoid feline had an oral fixation a mile wide, and paired with his not overwhelming size... _You had fun_.

He was meticulous in giving you at least twice the pleasure he received and you orgasmed until you couldn't see straight, his glossa dipping into you while sharp, clawlike talons tweaked and flicked all your sensitive spots until you bucked wildly up to meet him in every way possible and clawed haphazardly on his armor in an attempt to... Well, nobody knows what you were trying to do, least of all you.

This was the first time since you switched sides that you experienced real pleasure fucking one of the 'Cons, and later you might feel guilty for your bondmates' sakes. _When you could think again._


	149. Plugging in

You accidentally made it impossible for them to _not_ interface. Ravage made you lose control of your bonds and what flooded them...

Barricade and Crosshairs were thankfully together when it happened, it would have been incredibly awkward if they'd been around _others_. That they were in the rec room was unfortunate, but it wasn't like Bumblebee and Sideswipe had never seen'facing before.

Still leery of being touched intimately, Barricade opened all his dataports and unwound his cables after a few seconds of heated stares where blue quickly turning white met red bleeding to bright orange.

They were both rough and desperate and jammed connectors in sockets with grunts of pain and pleasure and the first overloads wracked them before they had even connected at all couplings.


	150. Sorry (not sorry?)

In spite of being semi-delirious, you managed to upload the tweaked programs to Ravage. He padded off, carrying it like a hidden parasite, ready to infect his host when the time was right.

You leaned against the wall, still drunk on postcoital bliss. If everything went right, you wouldn't have to do this again at all. Soundwave would do the rest for you. But you didn't dare count on it. Your musings were interrupted by a call and a burst of annoyance through the bond.

"Hmmm, hello Cade." You purred.

"What the fuck was _that_?! Do you know what we just _did_?"

_Oups._


	151. Frustration

He had tried, especially after his plug and play fun with the Paratrooper, but Barricade still couldn't muster up the courage to interface. Oh, he _wanted_ to, his reservations about the Autobot long overcome. _Frag it_ , Crosshairs was _hot_. 

But as soon as the touching turned even remotely intimate, he froze up with fear, spark spinning wildly and all charge fizzling out. Crosshairs was very understanding and didn't push him, but Barricade tried to push himself several times, forcing the fear back and trying to pretend that he liked it, hoping he would get charged again with a little more touching. The Sniper would have none of that, backing off immediately when Barricade's field fluctuated, opting for trying to find a way to not trigger Barricade's bad memories.

The Saleen came back to base after a long, fast drive to blow off some frustration and walked into their shared quarters to find Crosshairs there. The green 'Bot got up, his optics roving Barricade's dusty frame and the Mustang felt a tingle in his array. When the Paratrooper spoke, his voice was a sultry purr.

"Well hello, _officer._  I have beena _bad_ 'Bot _._ "


	152. Role-play

"I think you better... _frisk_ me, officer. Might be carryin' a concealed weapon." Crosshairs put his servos against the wall, spreading his legs casually.

Barricade snorted.

"Just one? I figure half your frame is  _made of_ concealed weapons."

"Yeah, but this one might be unregistered. Or maybe one I'm not licensed to carry."

Barricade tried to figure out what the Autobot was angling for. _There was something alluring with his stance, though._ The open invitation to touch him _anywhere._ How the control was willingly handed over to him _._

His comm pinged with a small datafile from Crosshairs. It was in a human format and Barricade suspected that you had given it to the Sniper.

_roleplay.docx_


	153. Patdown

"Oh, officer, you're so talented with your servos." Crosshairs moaned.

The Saleen was indeed frisking him thoroughly, digits slipping under plating and into subspace pockets. Until his digits jarred something in a pocket on the Sniper's thigh. He pulled it out.

  
_A toy blaster. And magna cuffs._

"What do we have here? Well, would you look at that. Somebot has indeed been bad."

Then the Saleen hesitated. _What was he supposed to do now_? 

"I'm so sorry, officer. Please don't report me!" Crosshairs whined, but he still put his servos behind his back.

The green 'Bot looked over his shoulder at the cuffs, then he caught Barricade's optics. His field reached out to check Barricade, but the Saleen wasn't uncomfortable. With a nod and a push of reassurance through their mingled fields, Crosshairs urged him on.

"Go ahead. I'm fine with this."


	154. At his mercy

Barricade looked at the cuffs. Real law enforcement grade ones. Crosshairs wouldn't be able to get out of them once they were activated.

It was an unexpected show of trust that the Paratrooper was ready to put himself in such a vulnerable position. Barricade wouldn't be able to handle putting himself in Crosshairs' place, and it was a humbling thought.

"We need a safeword." Barricade rasped, cooling fans dialling up.

"Megatron." Crosshairs said without hesitation.

"Good one." Barricade snorted.

He grabbed the green 'Bot's wrists and put the cuffs in place, magnetizing them. The loud clang when Crosshairs wrists were pulled against the metal rang with a weighty finality.

_The Sniper was at his mercy._


	155. Cops and pleasurebots

"Please don't arrest me, officer! You work so hard, let me _take good care_ of you. Relieve you of a little tension. You look _awfully_ stressed out." Crosshairs pleaded, voice full of innuendo.

_The 'Bot was a good enough actor to be a Decepticon._

 "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say..."

"Oh, I'll be putting my glossa to much better use than sweet-talk." Crosshairs interrupted.

The Sportscar sank to his knees in front of Barricade, blue optics looking up at the Mustang innocently while he flat tongued the Decepticon's interface panel.

Barricade's fans rattled up to full speed and his servo involuntarily flew up to rest on the back of Crosshairs helm, but the Corvette didn't object to the dominant gesture. Instead, he kept licking the quickly heating panel with lazy strokes, unable to do anything with his servos behind his back, seemingly content with making the Saleen mewl.

_Barricade couldn't find a single reason to object._


	156. Taste

The Mustang's interface panel snapped open and Crosshairs hummed in appreciation, swiping his glossa through the slick folds for a taste, moaning when he sucked in a breath to get the full flavor.

"Oh, my,  _officer,_  you taste so  _good._ "

He flattened his glossa and traced the wet slit again.  


Barricade made a strangled noise, his hips bucking, and Crosshairs chuckled.

"Mhm, eager too."

He flicked the exterior node a few times with the tip of his glossa before slipping it into the wet valve. Charge tingled between them.

"Oh, Primus, please don't stop." Barricade moaned.

"Name's Crosshairs, but Primus'll do for now. And I wouldn't dream of _stopping_."


	157. Being eaten

How he ended up with his back against the wall and his leg over Crosshairs shoulder, he couldn't remember and it _really_ didn't matter. The only thing Barricade could focus on was the building overload buzzing through his systems, the third one in a row.

How or where Crosshairs had gotten the idea to use his glossa on Barricade's valve, he had no idea, but Barricade made a note somewhere in his processor that he should go there and worship the hallowed ground and the deity of wonderful ideas, because _that_ was ingenious.

His vocalizer crackled and he arched his backstruts until they reached their stoppers, currents tracking every cable and wire along his frame and his optics whited out as he overloaded again.


	158. Kink

It was kind of tricky to keep the Saleen from crashing to the ground when his frame went limp, after all, Crosshairs' servos were still magnetized behind his back.

He still managed somehow, and he ended up sitting with his back against the wall, Barricade straddling his thighs and leaning against him with his helm against Crosshairs' shoulder, as he slowly rebooted.

Crosshairs silently cursed his fully pressurized spike. It seemed presumptuous, but there was nothing he could do about it. His panel had popped without his permission a long time ago.

_And wasn't that a surprise_? The Corvette had gotten into this with full intent to just get Barricade off, to help him overcome his fear without asking for anything in return. He'd convinced himself that he could deal with the discomfort of losing control for the sake of somebot else, that he trusted the 'Con enough to put himself in that position.

To find out that he not only could tolerate it, but actually  _enjoyed_  being helpless and dominated by someone he found he  _did_ trust.... It was equally unsettling and exciting. _And the sounds the Mustang made..._  His spike twitched, pressurized to the point of pain. 

_Slag._


	159. More

Barricade onlined after his reboot, hydraulic pressure still low and his frame relaxed. He felt the heat of the frame he was leaning against and momentarily snuggled into it, feeling utterly safe for the first time in eons.

"You ok there, sweetspark?" Crosshairs mumbled.

"Mhm, more than ok." 

Barricade cast a glance down and saw Crosshairs' spike between them, glowing with blue and green biolights.

"Ah... yeah, sorry 'bout that." Crosshairs sounded embarrassed.

"I don't mind." 

Because while he still felt nervous about being penetrated, he could hardly blame the 'Bot for enjoying what they just did. _And he wanted more_. He traced the underside of the spike with a careful talon, earning a groan from the pretty Corvette.

"You don't have to..."

"Shh. Still have the right to remain silent."

He _wanted_  it, but the nerves made his spark spin. Still warring with himself, he slid forward.


	160. Flash flood

Something interesting was definitely going on back home. You barely made it to your quarters in the Decepticon base before you collapsed in a moaning pile just inside the door.

The bonds had been a mixture of anticipation, hesitance, want, nerves and other things you hadn't had time to identify, but suddenly they both seemed to lose control of what they projected to you and it flooded you with arousal from both your mates at the same time. 

It was overwhelming. The astonished pleasure from Barricade almost knocked you off your feet, and Crosshairs' surprised but smug arousal didn't lessen your need.

Apparently, the Autobot had found a way to get the Saleen to relax enough to let him do something  _very_ pleasurable. 

_Whatever they were doing, you approved_.


	161. Whiteout

The Saleen slid back and forth, rubbing his wet folds along Crosshairs' length and the Paratrooper groaned again. He was close, _so Unicron damned close_ , and he wasn't even inside yet. 

Servos still behind his back, he was helpless to do anything but take whatever Barricade saw fit to grant him, and just the thought of that made his spike jerk and go impossibly slicker with pre-transfluid.

It was sweet torture, but he wouldn't want it to stop. The nervous fluctuations in Barricade's field was slowly disappearing, being replaced with growing arousal and that was a turn on in itself.

Then Barricade reached down and grabbed Crosshairs' spike to line it up with his valve and took it all in a fluid move and the Sniper's optics whited out as he instantly overloaded.


	162. Control

It gave him a sense of control when he slid down around the Autobot's spike, not just because the Sniper was shackled. He did it if his own volition, chose to do it. And nobot could keep him from it except himself.

Barricade found that he didn't need Crosshairs to be bound any more, he trusted the 'Bot to do him no harm. _It was enticing, though..._

He wasn't prepared for the Paratrooper to overload as soon as he was hilted, but he could work with that. _They had time._


	163. Leave 'em

Crosshairs onlined to meet the amused optics of Barricade, the Saleen still in his lap.

"That was fast." Barricade said.

"Yeah, well... Sorry 'bout that. It's just, you're fragging _hot_." Crosshairs tried to smooth over his embarrassment. _Overloading prematurely, like a youngling._

"I'll take it as a compliment then."

Barricade reached around to demagnetize the cuffs.

"Leave 'em. I... Ah... It turns me on."

Barricade cocked an optic ridge but did as the Paratrooper asked.

"Kinky fragger."

"Didn't think you'd mind." Crosshairs challenged.

"Never said I do."


	164. Together

Along the way, they switched, Barricade spiking Crosshairs until the Paratrooper's vocalizer glitched.

They ended up in a heap looking like an indoor car crash yet to be untangled.

"I could get used to this." Barricade mumbled.

"Good, 'cause I'm not planning on leaving." Crosshairs chuckled. "Actually, I think my hydraulic pressure wouldn't be enough to get my legs to work."

Barricade snorted.

"Yeah, good point. But I actually meant this..." He motioned between the two of them with his servo. "Us. Together. I think it'll work."

"I think so too."


	165. Back home

It was good to be "home" again, back at the Autobot base. Blackout took you, as usual, eager to go back too. As soon as he touched down, you were out and the sounds of his transformation turned to background noise when you caught sight of _them_.

Both your bondmates met you, Crosshairs' arm slung across the Saleen's shoulders, Barricade wrapped around the Sniper's waist, and you ran to them.

"I see things are going really well here." You chirped as you flung yourself at them.

"Yeah, we're... starting to get along." Barricade smirked and cheekily slipped a servo down Crosshairs' ventral plating.

The Paratrooper's vents hitched, and so did your breath. It was going to be a _very_ good night.


	166. Slide of digits

"Hello Blackout. It's good to see you again." Prime put a gentle servo on the copter's arm.

Blackout's spark raced to the point of making him dizzy. He still got nervous around the Autobot commander, even though they had come to... _what did the humans call it?_  Ah, _second base_ was the expression.

"I-it's good to see you too. _Optimus._ " Still getting used to first name basis.

"I missed you."

Optimus slipped his servo to Blackout's rotorhub, effectively revving the Decepticon's engine with a clever slide of his digits. To anybody not well versed in how a rotary frame works, it was simply a friendly gesture and for a moment, Blackout thought the Prime was oblivious.

Then he saw the wicked glint in blue optics and the minuscule twitch of the corner of the Autobot's intake and he knew that Optimus knew _exactly_ what he was doing.

_All lascivious intent._


	167. One on one

"Finally alone." Optimus purred.

The deep voice sent shivers down Blackout's back struts. His engine hiccupped when Prime nipped his rotor.

They were out in the desert, the easiest way to steer clear of prying eyes and optics, the stars more than enough light for their optics.

Powerful servos sliding gently down his sides had the helicopter gasping his vents. Optimus was a fearsome mech, capable of great devastation. An Autobot that put, if not fear, at least hesitation in most Decepticons to take on one on one.

It made it all the more thrilling to find out just how cleverly those servos could tease and coax pleasure.


	168. Expert touch

Blackout was teetering on the brink of overload from the Prime's expert teasing of his rotors and their assembly alone when the devious Autobot stopped.

"No, don't...what...I...." Blackout hacked out in despair.

"Shh. Trust me, you'll like this." Optimus rumbled while helping Blackout to the ground.

Blackout's spark was spinning when he laid back, spreading his legs on Optimus' urging. His interface plate spiraled apart when the truck slid his warm digits over it, revealing the helicopter's pressurized spike and wet valve. 

A tentative lick on the head of his spike at the same time as a digit flicked his exterior node had the ex-Con bucking up.

_Primus_ _damn it, the Prime knew what he was doing._


	169. Whiteout for Blackout

He found himself rubbing a sensitive audial, not sure where to put his servos. With Optimus' intake wrapped around his spike and several digits sliding in and out of his valve, it was incredibly hard to think.

Blackout was racing against an edge he was sure he would tumble off of, instead of soaring over it as he was used to, but he couldn't wait for it to come. Charge tingled along his wiring and plating and he could see small bursts of static crackling.

Then Prime _stopped_.

Before Blackout could protest, the Autobot had moved more quickly than should be possible with a frame that size, and sunk down on Blackout's spike.

With a mewl he set a punishing pace, slipping two digits into Blackout's valve and it was merely seconds before the helicopter's optics whited out.


	170. Divine reassurance

When Blackout overloaded, Optimus followed him over, all the charge released in a massive burst strong enough to knock the Prime's systems into a reboot, but he onlined before the Helicopter.

It wasn't lost on him, the irony of finally finding something he'd describe as love after millions of years of war and the mech in question being one of Megatron's most loyal followers, but he didn't care. 

Trying to push away the could have beens, had he found Blackout earlier, and the sad thoughts of mechs that might not have been lost, if only...

The matrix pulsed in his chest, comforting him with absolute certainty that this couldn't have happened any other way.

Reassured, he put a possessive arm across the Helo and pulled him close.


	171. Common practice

It was common practice by now, with so many mechs coming and going in the Autobot base, privacy was hard to come by.

You watched Optimus and Blackout sneak off into the night like unruly teenagers before you got into Crosshairs' altmode and he rolled out slowly in the opposite direction, Barricade flanking him.

For once, the pace was sedate, the sports cars cruising unhurriedly. It may look like a casual drive, but you knew why they were sort of stalling. They were nervous, even though both of them tried to hide it.

_They couldn't fool you._


	172. Closer

You were all nervous and you weren't afraid to admit that, it came with the territory, but you tried to keep the jitters down. After all, you were the most experienced. But this was something new to you too.

Crosshairs and Barricade sat on the dusty ground out in the desert, moonlight reflecting on their plating. The Saleen wrapped his legs around the Corvette's waist and pulled him closer until their interface plates were flush against each other.

A servo was extended to you, and you stepped up, accepting the lift easily. They laced their digits together, creating a living platform for you between their chests and you laid back, relaxing into the warm, living metal.

_Finally_.


	173. Trining

Their chest plates opened slowly, tentatively, and you could feel the first tendrils of heat and light wash over you. Instantly, your body responded and you arched back with a whine.

It was overwhelming to finally share your bond with both of them at once, and when their sparks started to latch on to each other's energy, you could feel all of you separately and yet as one entity, impossible to say where one ended and the next one began.

Overload built quickly for all of you, but you tipped over the edge first, writhing and scrabbling for purchase against the plating underneath you.

They followed you, echoing your pleasure and it pushed and pulled back and forth between all of you, stretching your orgasm for what seemed like forever. 


	174. Eavesdrop

All of you laid there for a long time, too worn out to move, too preoccupied with getting to know the new bond to get restless.

Crosshairs and Barricade were feeling each other for the first time and you were eavesdropping shamelessly. It was an interesting process, the push and pull when they revealed and pulled back, almost shyly. You could feel them being careful, still a bit nervous after millions of years spent on opposite sides of the war, but what caught you the most was the acceptance from both of them, the willingness to leave the past behind them.

It echoed through you and sometimes it was hard to tell who was feeling what, but you revelled in it, submerged yourself in the calm, almost lazy exploration they were doing.

_You_ _were all going to be alright._


	175. Salvation

Soundwave didn't break down, he was too emotionally muted to throw a fit. Instead, the new emotional coding gave him a new purpose, he knew what needed to be done.

He watched his cassettes huddle close to him, a soothing pet on the helm here, a stroke along a backstrut there. _They_ were devastated.

The host wasn't happy with what had happened, didn't like his symbionts distressed, but he saw the point, recognized it for the salvation it was. And he knew what he had to do.


	176. Into the den

His love, and it was the first time he recognized it as such, for his Lord had not diminished. And he felt sorry for what he was about to do, but it was his penance for the misdeeds they had all done during the war. 

The spy pinged the door to Megatron's private quarters and he was allowed entrance immediately. It felt like stepping into the cyberwolf's den.

"Soundwave." Megatron rose from his berth. "What brings you here at this hour?"

The Warlord stepped into the third in command's EM field and a shudder traveled down the backstrut of the Host when his sensitive field mingled with Megatron's almost cloyingly powerful one, oppressive in its might.


	177. Package

"You, my Lord." 

It was all he needed to say. They had done this dance many times over the eons, where the spy came to his leader for a physical connection and Megatron offered it without hesitation.

Perhaps it was the constant monitoring of other mechs without a plugged in link that sometimes left Soundwave ragged, but Megatron offered him solace. After all, he was the most loyal of Decepticons.

Plugs were slid into sockets and for long moments, Soundwave revelled in the calm that came with the familiar systems. But it was hauntingly obvious, now that he had the new lines of code, that something was missing, and so he proceeded to send a package to his Lord.


	178. Fall of a Warlord

It was disconcerting to witness, the process Megatron went through.

The hateful glare of betrayal when data was unpacked, the code writing itself into his systems at lightning speed. A swipe with his powerful servo that fell limp before it connected with the spy's helm.

His frame crashing to the floor, lax and harmless as a giant sparkling in recharge, the Warlord's faceplates seemingly softer and less jagged.

The reboot, the confused flailing as old memories were painted in new light with the addition of emotions formerly unknown.

Then the distressed binary beeping started.


	179. Pileup

_Pileup_. 

It was the best way to describe it. All of Soundwave's cassettes had joined their host, trying to comfort their Lord. 

He laid faceplates down on the floor, the other mechs draped haphazardly over him. Ravage butted his helm against Megatron's, trying to offer comfort in a very feline way.

Soundwave was still connected to the Decepticon leader, trying to break through the sheer agony that radiated from the Warlord with both his field and link. 

_He_   _was so going to have words with Prime about this._


	180. Hassled

"You popped his cherry last night, didn't you, bossbot?" Skywarp snickered triumphantly.

The rec room went dead silent except for Optimus' sputtering and the emarassed whine of Blackout's powerful flight engine, the helicopter hiding his faceplates in his servos.

Skywarp whooped, and, surprisingly, Sideswipe joined in with a wolf whistle.

"Way to go, O.P!" Crosshairs yelled.

Starscream rolled his optics at his ridiculous trine mate, because he was still  _Starscream._ But the air commander noted with satisfaction that the Autobots were coming to terms with the situation and accepting the ex-cons enough to share laughs and teasing. 

That it wasn't him for once, but Prime, being hassled was just a bonus.


	181. Control. Or not.

Your bond was a work in progress, or at least the control of it. The three of you were happy together, but things did get awkward and embarrassing sometimes.

Like when you and Crosshairs were getting it on like there was no tomorrow and you both lost control of the temporary shut down of the bond.

Barricade wasn't all that amused when he suddenly got charged up in the middle of a Cybertronian attempt at playing baseball. The fragging ball hit him on his right audial, he tumbled to the ground and scratched his paint and to top it off, he overloaded right there to everybot else's wolf whistles and cheering.

_Nope, Barricade did not find that funny at all_.


	182. Decepticon command

Then came the day when Megatron came hobbling into the base, leaning heavily on Soundwave.

Everybot currently on base came out to watch the spectacle when the Warlord fell to his knees, sobbing, as soon as Soundwave let go of him.

The communications officer put his servos on his hips in a manner clearly well practiced from eons with unruly cassettes and turned his visor to the Prime, staring up at the larger Bot.

Blackout slid a possessive arm across the Autobot leader's shoulders and stared back. His guns were humming as they came online, an intimidating display of support for his lover.

Everything else was stock still and dead silent, everybot waiting for someone to make the first move.


	183. All is fair

"Prime: underhanded and deceptive. Soundwave: disappointed. Megatron: indisposed." Soundwave accused.

"I will admit that it wasn't my most straight forward approach to end this war, but I assure you; every Decepticon have been given as much support and help they have required. As will Megatron, yourself and your cassettes, of course." Prime glanced at Blackout. "Please offline your weapons. We're not looking for a fight." He murmured to the helicopter.

Blackout didn't back down for a few tense seconds but then his guns powered down.

Soundwave glared at his former faction brother.

"Blackout: traitor!" He hissed.

The massive mech shrugged, a gesture he'd picked up from the humans he now interacted with on the base.

"Hey, all is fair in love and war."


	184. Offer: accepted

Everybot relaxed when Optimus helped Megatron to his pedes, leading the Warlord to the medbay with Soundwave holding him up from the other side.

"Ratchet is ready to scan him and maybe install a damper on his emotions until he learns to cope. Is there something else you need at the moment?"

"Symbionts: need recharge and fuel. Soundwave: stays with Lord Megatron."

"Scorponok can take your little ones to our quarters, he has his own room there and is willing to share." Blackout said.

Efter long seconds of contemplation, Soundwave nodded stiffly to the helicopter, accepting the offer.

One by one, they deployed, and the large mechs watched the horde trundle down the hallway. 

"And don't touch my x-box!" Blackout called after them, probably having picked something up on his symbiont bond to Scorponok."


	185. Opposable thumbs

It was very awkward in the Autobot base the weeks following Megatron's emotional upgrade. The formerly looming Warlord had turned into a skulking shadow, not often seen and even less heard. Soundwave was plastered to his side, the mechs seemingly taking comfort in their mutual silence.

The cassettes were a whole different entity. The came along in leaps and bounds, creating havoc but winning over the sparks of everybot. You found an unexpected friend in Buzzsaw, the most abrasive symbiont. But you were used to wrangle your less than smooth bondmates, so the avian was an easy match for you.

It didn't make things worse that he had no issues to fly with you, and the both of you were quick to learn exactly how good pranks you could pull off with both flight capability and a good set of opposable thumbs.


	186. Come of age

You found yourself staring in the mirror. The energon had indeed slowed your aging process, but it was evident that you were growing old. It was your birthday, something you didn't really celebrate, but it was a reminder that time did pass.

You took off alone on your motorcycle, heading for that lonely outcropping in the desert where you came every birthday. 

Eventually they would show up, they always did, and you would welcome them, but for now, you needed a little space to let your melancholy bud, bloom and wilt.


	187. Important news

"We have some important news to share with you." Optimus said, kneeling before you to get closer to your level.

You nodded and followed him to the medbay, nerves steadily rising.  _Why were you going there_?

To your surprise, the room was crowded; Ratchet; Starscream; the Constructicons, even Shockwave was there.

"We've managed to construct a fully working frame for you." Ratchet wasn't one to beat around the bush.

Starscream glared, probably annoyed by the lack of dramatic build up, but his wings relaxed to that ridiculously cute cant that was the seeker equivalent to starry-eyes when the medic smirked at him.


	188. Amazing friends

You stared at the frame, unable to make a sound. A sleek protoform, no kibble attached yet since it didn't have an altmode. That would come when you scanned a vehicle.

"I think she's broken or something. Why isn't she moving?" Starscream whispered worriedly to Ratchet.  

That snapped you out of your amazed stupor. You flung yourself at the nearest mech, attaching yourself to Shockwave's leg strut. The scientist managed to look at a loss for what to do, quite a feat for a mech without faceplates, servos held hesitantly in the air.

"You are all amazing!"


	189. Approved by the Primes

It was a long string of very technical terms and advanced explanations that flew by you. Three hours later and what your exhausted little brain had managed to pick up was: upload of all your memories to the CPU and igniting the spark by a sort of merge with Optimus Prime. 

The matrix had told him that this was the way and you felt honored that the Primes of the past wanted you to join mechkind.

Stumbling to your quarters, you hardly batted an eye when you rounded a corner and found Ratchet and Starscream "celebrating the successful project" with making out like teenagers against the wall. You'd seen that coming from a mile away and obviously Starscream's trinemates had approved.


	190. The last night

Exhausted from the day, you sank down between Barricade and Crosshairs on the bed.

"Whatcha thinkin', squish?" Crosshairs asked.

Barricade snorted and you shoved the green mech's face.

"Well, soon I can't call you that anymore." He mock pouted.

You reached out and stroked his cheek, memorizing every inch of him. This was the last night you would be human and you desperately want to bring the memories over to your new form of how they felt to you now.

They answered your call through the bond and moved closer.


	191. Bittersweet

It was bittersweet, almost like a farewell, even though it was a beginning for something new.

You touched and stroked them both until they almost overloaded and now Barricade straddled Crosshairs' lap, their chestplates withdrawing, and you could feel your hair stand on end from the crackling charge. It would be the last merge before you too had a spark and you savoured the experience.

Cupped in both your lover's servos you let go completely, and their happiness and love wrapped around you.


	192. Forgiveness

Of course you were nervous. There was a risk that something would go wrong with the upload. You sat on the berth in the medbay, sipping a glass of energon to relax and to open up your systems to be as compatible as possible.

The scientists were milling around, busy with preparations, and you watched them closely.

Hook turned to you, pulling cables from the lax frame on the next berth.

"We're getting ready for the upload." 

He stretched his servos to you and you stood, allowing him to connect it with the ports in your armor.

"I'm sorry. For everything I did." He murmured.

"You are forgiven. Everything was so messed up back then and you have redeemed yourself. Besides, everything that happened led up to this. I wouldn't be here, bonded and happy, if it wasn't for everything we did."


	193. Are you ready?

Optimus Prime walked into the medbay, a bright smile on his handsome face. 

"Are you ready for this?" He asked.

"I'm nervous, but good to go." You answered, the excitement in his EM field contagious.

The big mech straddled the frame on the other berth and you laid down, taking deep breaths to calm the fluttering in your stomach.

"Let's do this." You said.

Ratchet and Starscream pushed the button together, fingers laced.


	194. Embrace

It was like falling and vertigo all at once, your life flashing before your mind's eye. Memories you didn't even know you had.

Heat coiled in your chest and suddenly you were surrounded by shadowy figures, whispering words you couldn't quite make out.

You could feel their joy and approval and somehow you knew that they were the ancient Primes. You were sad when you were pulled away from their presence, not wanting to leave, but a new presence pulled you in, so full of love and happiness that you let yourself be embraced by it.


	195. Everything is going to be ok

It felt like flying through a tunnel at the speed of light and then you were  _aware_  again. Charge crackled between you and Optimus and it was a matter of seconds before both of you overloaded.

He slumped on top of you, and one of your processes noted how weird it was that he could without flattening you to a wet stain.

He grinned at you when you onlined your optics and the room erupted in cheers.

"Welcome back to this world."

Your optics found your bondmates, hugging each other closely, six optics trained on you, and you smiled as your heart,  _No, your spark_ , started pulsing faster.

_Everything was going to be ok._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my pretties, we have reached the end of the line of this story, and I think the quota for fluff have been filled. I have enjoyed this project, and I'm happy to see that I have readers that have enjoyed it too. Thank you all for comments and kudos, it is very rewarding.


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